Embracing My “Averageness”

Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul. Samuel Ullman, American businessman and poet

In the new Matlock CBS TV series, 76-year-old Kathy Bates’ character has a line about older women being invisible. She frames it as a super-power. I like that the script is positive about older women but I have my doubts about this being universally true.

For me, aging has been a trade off. As a 79-year-old woman, sometimes I’m forced to recognize my “has been” place in society and my invisibility. For instance, when I’m around young parents I have to come to terms with the fact that they don’t want to know how I handled a two-year-old’s temper tantrum in 1972. 

On the other hand, I’m frequently affirmed in my new role as author or how adventuresome I still am. In some circles I’m still visible and viable. 

Here’s an observation—I think aging is most difficult for exceptional people. I’ve coached beautiful women about how beauty doesn’t last and the importance of not putting their total identity into how they look. I believe the same is true for people who are exceptional in creative and intellectual pursuits.

Those who are exceptional have more to lose and therefore, may feel the impact of aging more acutely. My “averageness” helps me deal with the impact of aging. Interesting theory don’t you think?

Affirmation: I will remain enthusiastic about my life.

Coaching questions: What has been your experience of aging? What do you do to stay vital and enthusiastic? If your soul is becoming wrinkled, what will you do about it? 

Enjoying the view at Goosewing Ranch, Wyoming