The language we use is extremely powerful. It is the frame through which we perceive and describe ourselves and our picture of the world. Iben Dissing Sandahl, a Danish licensed psychotherapist, family counsellor, teacher and author
Is your inner voice a friend or a foe? Is it giving you negative messages or affirming who you are and who you want to become?
Lisa Coyne, PhD, licensed clinical psychologist, and author writes, “People do not hear voices, per se, but we do notice critical thoughts popping up as we go through our days.” Dr. Coyne goes on to explain how this is a good thing in the case of danger but sometimes it goes too far.
“We have evolved to experience our thoughts as literal truths. It’s what allows us to learn indirectly by listening to what other people say, rather than only directly through our own experience. Our inner voice is always on, and it’s over inclusive in its estimation of what is threatening. These are features, not bugs, of our critical voice. It wouldn’t be a great threat detector if you could turn it off at will, and it wouldn’t be a great threat detector if it somehow underestimated threats, right?”
My experience and the experience of some of my coaching clients is that we can learn how to tame the Gremlin, the term I use for the negative inner voice. You’ll never slay the Gremlin because, as Coyne says, she’s there for a reason. However, you can learn to discern which negative thoughts are true or not, overcome all-or-nothing thinking, stop discounting the positive, and stop labeling yourself using negative language (fat, stupid, irresponsible).
Affirmation: I am okay!
Coaching questions: What is your inner voice telling you? How can you “tame” your Gremlin (your negative thoughts)? What difference will positive self-talk make in your life?
Photo by Giampiero Fanni on Unsplash
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