You must go into the dark in order to bring forth your light. Debbie Ford, author
In her book The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, Debbie Ford asserts that as young children our personalities are like a mansion with many rooms. Unfortunately, as we get older we choose to shut down different parts of ourselves – close off the rooms that “aren’t appropriate.” As we shut these areas of our life off we end up with a smaller version of ourselves than we were meant or made to be.
As I have reclaimed some of the rooms in my mansion, I have also been able to reclaim or accept others who have the traits I’ve closed off. For instance, part of my dark side is to use food as my drug of choice. As I claim this truth, I’m not only better able to live a healthier lifestyle, I’m able to accept others with the same dark side.
When I notice that I’m appalled by people who act out of anger, I wonder about my own “room” called anger that has been sealed off and the part of me that could also act this way. What I notice and dislike most about others is often the piece within myself that I need to claim as my own.
Coaching questions: What bothers you about others’ behavior? What really gets under your skin? Can you see this piece buried within you? Check it out and see what happens.