Open All The Rooms of Your Mansion

Every day that you attempt to see things as they are in truth, is a supremely successful day. Vernon Howard, teacher, author, philosopher

In the book, The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, Debbie Ford, asserts that as young children our personalities are like a mansion with many rooms. Unfortunately, as we age we choose to shut down different parts of ourselves – close off the rooms that “aren’t appropriate.”

Of course, modifying unruly or antisocial behavior is part of maturing. But we usually go too far and end up with a smaller version of ourselves than we were meant or made to be.

As we reclaim the  “dark side” of ourselves, we open up the rooms of our mansion and begin to accept others in a new way.  We don’t have to like the dark actions of others or act upon our dark thoughts, but recognizing that we have these traits somewhere within us is powerful.

Affirmation: I will reclaim the closed rooms of my “mansion.” 

Coaching questions: What rooms have you closed off? What would it be like to open them with the confidence that you can acknowledge, without acting on, the dark side of yourself?

Photo by Michael Denning on Unsplash

Life’s Rusty Nails

It happened in New York, April 10th, nineteen years ago. Even my hand balks at the date. I had to push to write it down, just to keep the pen moving on the paper. It used to be a perfectly ordinary day, but now it sticks up on the calendar like a rusty nail. Donna Tartt, author

What date sticks up on your calendar like a rusty nail? The day you lost your mother or another loved one? The date of your divorce? Perhaps it’s the date you found out you had cancer.

We all have a date or several dates etched on our minds and hearts. Dates that bring us sadness or a sense of fear. Ordinary days that became life changing in their impact on our lives. Know that you’re not alone. Embrace the dark side knowing that you’re moving towards the light.

Affirmation: I am in the light.

Coaching request: Consider your “rusty nail” date(s). Acknowledge and affirm your journey forward. 


Stay Off the Path to the Dark Side

Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. Master Yoda

As daughters who have experienced tragic mother loss, especially through early loss, abandonment, or murder, we have experienced fear at some level. Fear for our very survival, fear of the future, fear of losing another parent and many others.

It is only when we overcome our fears and, perhaps, our anger and hate, that we can truly flourish and lead our best life. There has been enough suffering, let’s not inflict it upon ourselves by embracing our fears. Let’s move away from the dark side. 

Affirmation: I’m fearless.

Coaching questions: What fears do you have that need releasing? Name two, be specific. What is one step you will take to move away from this dark side of living?