There’s More to Grief Than Sadness

There are no happy endings. 

Endings are the saddest part. 

So just give me a happy middle, 

And a very happy start. 

Shel Silverstein, author

My experience of grieving showed me that grief is more than sorrow and sadness. Writing for, psychologist, Nick Wignall, concurs. “By limiting our grief exclusively to sadness, we end up invalidating the emotionally complex nature of grief. While sadness is often a large or even dominant part of our emotional reaction to loss, it’s almost never the only one.”

As I interviewed daughters who were grieving the loss of their mothers, I recognized emotions as wide-ranging as anger, disappointment, fear, anxiety, and, yes, even joy and thankfulness for what their mothers meant in their lives. 

Affirmation: I can grieve in many ways.

Coaching questions: What emotions show up for you when you’re in the process of grieving? How do you acknowledge and validate your wide range of emotions? 


Photo by Ellieelien on Unsplash

Self Compassion Paves the Way For Self Help

The only sustainable path to achievement and happiness is to cultivate self compassion. Nick Wignall, Clinical psychologist

In writing a self help book about mother loss, I’m asking readers to consider ten steps to help them move forward after loss. Pursuing self improvement by reading books, attending groups, or watching youtube is a noble pursuit.

However, as Wignall says, cultivating self compassion must go hand in hand with self improvement. In order to have lasting growth and change, we must learn to be gentle with ourselves, participate in positive self talk, and treat ourselves as we treat our friends.

Affirmation: I travel the road to self improvement by being gentle with myself.

Coaching questions: In what ways do you embrace yourself as you pursue change in your life? How can you improve your inner dialogue? 


Photo by bruce mars on Unsplash