Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It’s not. Dr. Seuss
Researching, writing, publishing, and marketing a book is hard work. I’m sure some people are wondering why a seventy-four-year-old, retired grandma wants to tackle something so demanding. I recently found a quote that answers this question. “If your ‘why’ is powerful enough, your ‘how’ will be easy!”
As I meet motherless daughters and participate in motherless daughter groups, my “why” is evident. I want to give these grieving daughters tools to help them move forward and live life to the fullest even though they have experienced trauma in their lives. I want to assure them that they are not alone and give them examples of other daughters who have experienced a similar life story and not only survived but thrived. I care “a whole awful lot.”
Affirmation: I have discovered the “why.”
Coaching question/request: Is there something you’re yearning to do but are hesitating because you think it is too big or too scary? If the answer is yes, find the “why” in what you want to do. Then, just do it!
The photo is of two beautiful women (sisters by adoption) I interviewed for my book. They shared their amazing mother loss story in order to help others to “never give up!”
They tried to bury us but they didn’t know we were seeds. Mexican proverb
As a woman entrepreneur in the ’80’s, a single mom, a motherless daughter raised by a dad, a sudden widow, a board chair leading mostly men, there were times in my life that I felt the pressure of “being buried.” However, little did society, neighbors, corporate men know—I was a seed. In spite of the difficult circumstances or environment, I grew, I blossomed, I thrived.
A young, Mexican American, disabled woman recently quoted this proverb when speaking to her fellow graduates at a college commencement. To a much greater extent than I, she certainly must have felt buried many times. But, on that commencement day, she was a seed who had blossomed into a beautiful flower.
Affirmation: I am a seed.
Coaching questions: What’s causing you to feel buried? What will help you bloom?
No one is so brave that he is not disturbed by something unexpected. Julius Caesar
On August 10, 2000, Keith, my presumably healthy, fifty-three-year-old husband of ten months, dropped dead of a heart attack. Caesar’s quote rang true. However, after losing a mother at age eight, I grew up with the reality that bad things happen unexpectedly.
Jamais Cascio, author and futurist, writes, “Resilience is all about being able to overcome the unexpected. Sustainability is about survival. The goal of resilience is to thrive.” Perhaps this resilience is one positive outcome for those of us who have experienced unexpected loss.
Affirmation: I can handle the unexpected.
Coaching questions: How do you handle the unexpected? What will help you develop greater resilience for life’s surprises?