“A friend is someone who knows all about you and loves you anyway.” On a card on my bulletin board.
Children innately protect themselves from being different. Although I was a fairly confident kid, the years following my mother’s death (about ages 9-12), I would make an excuse to leave a group if the conversation turned to family. I didn’t want to say, “I don’t have a mother.” Being different felt scary. In those days, I didn’t even know anyone with divorced parents much less anyone who had a parent that was missing or dead.
Now I’m mostly an open book…but not completely. I haven’t totally bought the truth of the quote above. You know the old saying about when you point a finger the other four are pointed at you? I’m still working on my judgmental nature so perhaps that is why I’m frightened about the judgments of others. Something to ponder.
Affirmation: I love me anyway.
Coaching questions: Are you an open book? If not, why not? What is scary for you to reveal?
Life after losing a mother 
Loosely related to this post:
My father died when I was 15. Years later I realized I used to say, “My mother is a widow” when people asked about my father. I never said “My father died.”
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