Yes,Virginia, There Are Bad Mothers

The taboos about dissing our mothers, and the myths of motherhood which portray all mothers as loving, serve to isolate unloved daughters. Peg Streep, author of Daughter Detox: Recovering from an Unloving Mother and Reclaiming Your Life

Moving forward after experiencing a childhood with no love and a blatant message of  “I wish you hadn’t been born” is particularly difficult. In addition to the experience of having an unloving mother, the challenge of communicating with others about their experience causes ongoing pain and, at times, rejection from friends and family. Mothers tend to be defended and put on a pedestal, especially by motherless daughters. 

I recently interviewed an unloved daughter. After many years, it was still a difficult story for her to tell and rarely, if ever, told to anyone. It was a relief for this lovely woman to have a non-judgmental listener and an opportunity to tell the unvarnished truth. All mothers have bad days but some are truly bad mothers who leave life-long scars.

Affirmation: I am open to the stories of others.

Coaching questions: How can you remain open to the challenging stories of others? What understanding do you need today? Where will you find it? 

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Photo by Janko Ferlič on Unsplash

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