Preparing for THE Anniversary

It happened in New York, April 10th, nineteen years ago. Even my hand balks at the date. I had to push to write it down, just to keep the pen moving on the paper. It used to be a perfectly ordinary day, but now it sticks up on the calendar like a rusty nail. Donna Tartt, author of The Goldfinch

There is a year nearly every daughter who has lost her mother describes as “very significant.” This is the year when she becomes the age of her mother when she died.

If you have not yet reached this anniversary year when your mother died or was swept away by dementia, take care to not be blindsided by its significance. Be ready, not with a mind filled with anxiety, but with facts and the assurance that you can survive and thrive past this auspicious date or season in time.

Affirmation: I understand the significance of this anniversary.

Coaching question/request: What will help you prepare? If you’re past the age, reflect on how the anniversary was significant and what you learned. 

One thought on “Preparing for THE Anniversary

  1. I was 26 and my mother 52 when she died of breast cancer. So I didn’t have too long in my life to reach that age and pass it. But I do remember anticipating it and watching it approach for a whole year before arriving. And then it was over. Just like that and it didn’t concern me any more. Then my sister, who is 20 years younger than me, approached age 52 and she too had thoughts of the significance of the date although I don’t think she dwelled on it too much. Now my thoughts have been “I wonder how my mother would have handled this aging stuff.” Would her mind have remained sharp or would she have had dementia. What illnesses would she have had? And other aging questions of life. I will never know.


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