One Lesson I Learned From Experiencing Loss

The task we must set for ourselves is not to feel secure, but to be able to tolerate insecurity. Erich Fromm, German social psychologist

One of the dubious benefits of losing a mother at eight-years-old was that I became a planner. Not just a what’s-for-dinner planner but a what-if-there’s-another-Great Depression planner. When I had children living at home, my “Next Great Depression” plan was to dig up the backyard (a half acre) and plant a BIG garden—like big enough to keep us in food from season to season. I also learned how to bake bread and sew clothing.

Mathematician John Allen Paulos said, “Uncertainty is the only certainty there is and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security.” Learning how to live with the knowledge that something catastrophic can happen was one of my greatest lessons. It has served me well for over sixty-seven years.

Affirmation: I will learn how to live with insecurity.

Coaching questions: What did you learn from your loss experience? What’s a step you’ll take to learn how to deal with insecurity?