The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing… that is a friend who cares. Henri Nouwen, Dutch Catholic priest, professor, and spiritual writer
People often ask, “How can I respond to someone who has lost her mother?” Or “How do I respond to a friend who has bad health or family news?” There’s not much I can add to Nouwen’s quote.
In my experience, simply listening is the best response. Saying, “I’m so sorry. I’m here for you.” works too. For heaven’s sake don’t compare their situation with yours or with someone you know. This minimizes their experience.
In the moment, you don’t need to fix, give advice, or research what’s happening. Simply “be” with your friend.
Coaching question: What has your experience been with friends/family in your moment of despair? What’s your take-away?
