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There is no doubt that COVID-19 is a cloud that continues to hover over our world. For some the virus brought catastrophe—a lost loved one, lost business, lost job. For others, the impact has been less severe but, nevertheless, COVID has impacted all of us in some negative way.

But, as with all clouds, there are silver linings—needed rain, cooler temperatures, rainbows.  

My COVID silver linings have been time to write a new book and publish the book I’d spent three years writing. I’ve also become friends via email with my next door neighbor (a lovely lady from England) and a weekly opportunity to learn in a Zoom class taught by my editor, Elena, who lives in Washington state.

My granddaughter’s silver lining was the opportunity to teach herself to play the guitar. Some have planted gardens, read more books, reconnected with old friends, learned to cook new recipes. 

Affirmation: I believe in silver linings.

Coaching questions: What silver linings have you had in the last eight months? What have they meant to you?

Photo by NOAA on Unsplash

An empty lantern provides no light. Self-care is the fuel that allows your light to shine brightly. Unknown

Last year, I sent a children’s book entitled, Fill a Bucket by Carol McCloud and Katherine Martin, to some of my Greats and Grands. The book’s message is that we all have an invisible bucket which holds good thoughts and feelings about ourselves. When someone does something nice for you, you do something nice for them, or you do something nice for yourself, you fill your bucket and visa versa. 

I’ve used the bucket analogy as a Life Coach for years. I’d notice my client’s bucket was empty by how she sounded or what she said. I’d ask her, “What will you do this week to fill your bucket?” 

As the holiday season approaches, it’s easy to deplete our own buckets while working hard to fill the buckets of others. This month, keep tabs on your bucket, notice when it’s getting low and either fill it yourself (a nap, a call to a friend, a bath, a walk) or ask someone to fill it (please clean up the kitchen, take me to dinner, drop this off at the post office). As we fill the buckets of others, our joy increases but we need to watch the balance. 

Affirmation: I have a full bucket.

Coaching questions: How’s your bucket doing? Is it full or empty? What can you do this week to fill up your bucket while adding to another’s?

Photo by Samur Isma on Unsplash

When our mind is full of the warmth of humor, we are in touch with the best of ourselves. Quote from Welcoming the Unwelcome by Pema Chodron

I definitely agree with Chodron’s quote but, since I don’t think of myself as funny, humor is a difficult topic for me to write about. In today’s world, however, I’m grateful for anything that makes me laugh. I’m craving a big, out-loud laugh. I know how good it feels.

I just went through my Facebook feed to find something funny for inspiration. Alas, nada. That’s not always true but laugh-out-loud humor, that isn’t at the expense of someone, is rare these days. Yet, it’s so vital to getting in touch with “the best of ourselves.”

Affirmation: I like to laugh.

Coaching questions and request: Where do you find humor? What makes you laugh out loud? How do you feel when you do? Please share something funny. I need a good laugh.

Photo by Stormy All on Unsplash

To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under the heaven…a time to be born and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to pluck up that which is planted. Ecclesiastes 3:2, The Bible

I grew up in Nebraska and I’m a Nebraska girl at heart. Although my ancestors were country doctors, boot makers, lumberyard owners, my Nebraska roots gave me a deep love and respect for the land and farmers.

Prior to moving to Florida, we lived in the midst of Illinois farmland where I felt a part of the planting, sprouting, growing, harvesting seasons and appreciated the farmers I saw working the fields into the night at harvest time.  

Tomorrow is National Farmer’s Day and an opportunity to pay tribute to farmers throughout history. I have the utmost respect for our farmers in today’s highly technical, yet labor intensive and unforgiving industry.

Affirmation: I thank farmers who put food on my table.

Coaching request: Take a moment to consider the food in your pantry and refrigerator. Think about what it takes to plant, grow, and harvest the wheat to make your bread. Consider the birthing of calves, gathering of eggs, or feeding of chickens. Consider the back breaking job of picking your lettuce or broccoli. Then, show gratitude. 

Photo by Gregory Hayes on Unsplash

Grief is the reminder of the depth of our love. Gordon Wheeler, psychologist

In one of my all-time favorite books, The Book of Joy, the Dalai Lama says, “Sadness and grief are, of course, natural human responses to loss, but if your focus remains on the loved one you have just lost, the experience is less likely to lead to despair.

In contrast, if your focus while grieving remains mostly on yourself–‘What am I going to do now? How can I cope?’–then there is a greater danger of going down the path of despair and depression. So much depends on how we respond to our experience of loss and sadness.”

The motherless daughters I interviewed for my book, Mom’s Gone, Now What? who seemed to have made the adjustment to their loss, more frequently talked about what their mothers gave them, even if their time with her was short, rather than all they had lost because of her death. 

Both conversations are appropriate, of course, but focusing on the former seems to lead to more joy and less long term depression and grief.

By her death, my mother gave me a greater sense of independence, the heart-felt knowledge that death is a part of life, and the ability to show empathy to those who have experienced loss.

Affirmation: I focus on the person I lost

Coaching questions: What is your response to loss? Is it working for you? What will help you focus more on the lost loved one and less on yourself?