Embracing Gratitude On A Difficult Day

Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow. Melody Beattie, author

Today, Mother’s Day in the U.S., will be difficult for many women especially in the era of COVID-19 when families are apart. Even in normal times, Mother’s Day is frequently challenging for women who have lost their mothers, are estranged from their mothers, have no children but wish they did, and those who have lost a child. I’m thinking of you all. 

Today will be sad for me as well but gratitude will help me cope. I’m grateful for the friendly smile I inherited from my mom, I’m grateful for my wonderful family, I’m grateful for my good health and, even though it’s a day for mothers, I am grateful for having had an amazing dad.

Affirmation: Naming all that I’m grateful for has cheered me.

Coaching questions: What helps you feel grateful on a difficult day? What difference can you make in someone else’s day today?

fullsizeoutput_b01

Gratefully Celebrating Mother’s Day

Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow. Melody Beattie, author

Mother’s Day can be difficult for many women, not just those of us who have lost our mothers. It can be difficult for women who are estranged from their mothers, have no children but wish they did, those who have lost a child, or those who are away from their family.

For me, gratitude always helps me cope. I’m grateful for the friendly smile, bright eyes, and sunny personality I got from my mom, I’m grateful for my three wonderful children, three step kids, eight grands, eleven step grands, and five (almost seven) step greats. What a bountiful life I have! And even though it’s a day for mothers, I am especially grateful for my dad who partnered with me to create a joyful childhood and beyond.

There will be a bit of sadness in my celebration tomorrow but mostly there will be gratitude.

Affirmation: I’m grateful.

Coaching questions: What helps you feel grateful on a difficult day? What difference can you make in someone else’s day today?

IMG_1479 (2).jpgMe and my mom, circa 1953

I Will Never Forget You

Symbols are the imaginative signposts of life. Margot Asquith, Countess of Oxford and Asquith, socialite, author and wit.

Pink carnations have always been special to me because they were the flower spray selected by my dad to cover my mother’s casket.  I think they were randomly chosen perhaps because they are feminine or inexpensive. I doubt if my dad had any idea of their meaning.

As I finished reading The Language of Flowers, I discovered in the author’s Dictionary of Flowers at the end of the book, that pink carnations (Dianthus Caryophyllus) mean I will never forget you. I learned this just today after sixty four years of holding pink carnations precious just for that reason. In fact, the photo  below is me holding a pink carnation on Mother’s Day 2018.

Flowers and other symbols, colors, smells, songs…all of these things and more are sensory reminders that keep our memories and love alive.

Affirmation: I honor the symbols in my life.

Coaching questions: What symbols do you hold dear? What do they mean to you and why? How do you keep your memories alive?

IMG_0005

It’s Just One Day

Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow. Melody Beattie, Author of self-help books on codependent relationships.

Mother’s Day can be difficult for many women, not just those of us who have lost our mothers, but women who are estranged from their mothers, have no children but wish they did, those who have lost a child, or those who are away from their family.

For me, gratitude helps me cope. I’m grateful for the friendly smile, brown eyes and sunny personality I got from my mom, I’m grateful for my three wonderful children and three step kids, eight grands, 11 step grands, and 2-1/2 step greats. What a bountiful life I have! And even though it’s a day for mothers, I am especially grateful for my dad who partnered with me to create a joyful childhood and beyond.

For those who started moaning in misery last week about the approach of Mother’s Day, I’m sad. After all, it is just one day.

Affirmation: I’m grateful.

Coaching questions: What helps you feel grateful on a difficult day? What difference can you make in someone else’s day today?

The Choice Is Yours

You either get bitter or you get better. It’s that simple. You either, take what has been dealt to you and allow it to make you a better person or you allow it to tear you down. The choice does not belong to fate. It belongs to YOU. Josh Shipp, Youth motivational speaker, author

Yesterday I helped put together a taco bar lunch for about 20 women. The lunch was a big hit but one of the best parts was all the talking and laughter that took place while we chowed down our tacos. A friend at my table, who recently lost her husband, showed me her phone with the above quote on it. She said, “This quote is posted on my refrigerator!” I sent it to myself in order to share it with you, my Blogger Buddies.

With Mother’s Day on the horizon, this quote seems especially valuable. Two of the motherless daughters I interviewed replied the same way to the question, “what advice would you give others?” They both said, “You have to learn to play the hand your dealt.” Exactly!

Affirmation: I chose to get better. (I will make tacos this week)

Coaching question: What will help you move towards getting better…not bitter?

PS…I apologize for photos not showing up in my blog lately. They were perfect until published then poof! I’m on a mission to find out what happened.

Mom and Me

Life began with waking up and loving my mother’s face. George Eliot, pen name for Mary Anne Evans, English novelist, poet, leading writer of the Victorian era.

Sadness usually comes upon motherless daughters as Mother’s Day approaches. The day has always been a little sad for me too…even after all these years. These days, I’m doubly sad because I don’t get to spend time with my children or grandchildren on Mother’s Day.

However, one thing I’ve learned is that when I focus on what my mother meant to my life in the short time she was with me and how fortunate I was to have a wonderful father, my heart becomes lighter. When it’s less about what I lost and more about what I gained…yes, gained…by losing a mother at an early age my heart is lighter.

When I was growing up, our church had a Mother/Daughter Banquet. An elderly lady, Mrs. Pierce, always invited me to attend with her. What a loving thing to do. This week, I will remember her too.

The photo is my mom and me taken on vacation a few years before she died, circa 1950.

Affirmation: I am because we were.

Coaching question: What will help you feel less sad this week? How can you help a motherless daughter have a better day?

IMG_1479 (1)