Tag: C.S. Lewis

Friendship Is Unnecessary But So Valuable

by Mershon Niesner

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art, like the universe itself (for God did not need to create). It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival. C.S. Lewis, British writer

I’ve spent several months being cooped up in my condo due to hip pain, Covid, and recovery from hip replacement surgery. What I’ve missed most is spending time with my friends. 

I thought growing up without a mother and being an only child was why friends have always been particularly important to me but, in fact, research suggests that friendships can help all of us find purpose and meaning, stay healthy, and live longer.

Author, Lydia Denworth writes, “The intimacy, support, equality, and emotional bonds we have in our friendships are unique.” Indeed they are!

Affirmation: I value my friends!

Coaching questions: What do friendships mean to you? If you don’t have friends in your life, what can you do to cultivate one or two relationships? 

Learning To Live With Loss

by Mershon Niesner

What we have once enjoyed we can never lose; all that we deeply love becomes a part of us. Helen Keller

(This is a repurposed blog from a few years ago but I thought the message important enough to repeat.)

Loss of a loved one is always difficult. It’s the price we pay for having a great love. However, we can be joyful again as we learn to accommodate to life after loss.

C.S. Lewis in A Grief Observed likened accepting your life after loss to a man learning to walk after a leg has been amputated. Lewis writes, “The amputee may get along quite well, may even become facile and agile on crutches or on a carefully designed artificial limb. But the amputee must accommodate to permanent loss. He or she will never walk as before; repair does not mean a return to the way things were.”

Our life will never be as it was before our loss but those we love are always a part of us. 

Affirmation: I can learn to be joyful again after loss.

Coaching questions: How are you different after loss? In what ways have you accommodated to your loss? What will you do next?