Cheri Huber – Life after losing a mother

If you had a person in your life treating you the way you treat yourself, you would have gotten rid of them a long time ago. Cheri Huber, author of There Is Nothing Wrong with You: Going Beyond Self-Hate

As I edit/rewrite my first book, Ribbons of Love – Affirmations for abundant living, I’m reminded of the power of self-talk. Do you speak to yourself the way you’d speak to your beloved child or grandchild? If the negative voice in your mind is loud and keeping you from being the person you want to be, it’s time to take action. Here are three steps to help you begin:

1. Name the negative voice in your head. I call mine the Gremlin. Talk back to your negative voice, argue with him/her, challenge your Gremlin with the truth.

2. Track when your Gremlin is speaking to you. One of the first steps to changing a habit is recognizing when it occurs. Journaling is a helpful way to do this or simply stop and make a mental note of unwarranted negativity.

3. Affirm yourself. If your Gremlin is invading your space, repeat an affirmation. Gremlins hate affirmations because they take away their power. It’s unlikely that you’ll completely rid yourself of your Gremlin but you can tame him.

4. Talk to yourself like a trusted friend and refuse to believe your unrealistic, negative inner voice.

Affirmation: I am worthy of positive self talk.

Coaching questions: What is your Gremlin saying to you? Is it true? What steps will you take to tame your Gremlin? What difference will it make?

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Photo by Justin Veenema on Unsplash

If you had a person in your life treating you the way you treat yourself, you would have gotten rid of them a long time ago. Cheri Huber, author of There Is Nothing Wrong with You: Going Beyond Self-Hate

For the December issue of Vanity Fair, the British author Zadie Smith completed a questionnaire which asked: What do you dislike most about your appearance? “I like it all,” replied Smith, 41. “Self-hatred is for younger, prettier women.” I say self-hatred is for none of us!

Negative self-talk can be destructive not only to ourselves but to our relationships. Here are a few tips to help you tone-down the negative self-talk:

—Name the negative “person” in your head. I call mine the Gremlin. Talk back to the Gremlin, argue with him/her, challenge the Gremlin with the truth.

—Track when your Gremlin is speaking to you. One of the first steps to changing a habit is recognizing when it occurs. Journaling is a helpful way to do this or simply stop and make a mental note of unwarranted negativity.

—Affirm yourself. If your Gremlin is invading your space, affirm yourself. Gremlins hate affirmations because they take away their power. You may not rid yourself of the Gremlin but you can tame him.

Affirmation: I will tame my Gremlin.

Coaching questions: When does your Gremlin use negative self-talk on you? What does he/she say? What will you do the next time this happens to dispel the negative self-talk?

Photo by Andreas Avgousti on Unsplash

Tag: Cheri Huber

Learn How to Tame Your Gremlin

Learn How To Tame Your Gremlin