Tag: depressed

Exchange “Merry” For Contentment

by Mershon Niesner

Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can. Arthur Ashe, professional tennis player

If you’re feel lonely, depressed, or joyless this holiday season, you’re not alone. The truth is, sometimes life is difficult—even in December; mostly in December for some.

The trouble comes when we compare our inner reality with everyone else’s highlight reel — the matching pajamas, the picture-perfect family gatherings, the beautifully laid table. Real life is rarely that neat. The truth is, joy isn’t something we can manufacture on command; it’s something that visits when we make room for it.

This year, give yourself permission to step out of the performance and off of the stage. Light one candle instead of ten. Listen to music that soothes rather than jingles. Say yes to what comforts you and no to what drains you. You may find that when you stop chasing “merry,” quiet contentment begins to appear.

Coaching question: What are two ways you can comfort yourself during this time of year? 

Feeling Joyless, Aimless, Stagnant or Empty?

by Mershon Niesner

It feels as if you’re muddling through your days, looking at your life through a foggy windshield. Adam Grant, journalist

The most-read New York Times article in 2021 was, “There’s a Name for the Blah You’re Feeling: It’s Called Languishing” by Adam Grant. According to psychologists, the feeling exists somewhere between depression and flourishing. 

Feeling joyless, aimless, stagnant or empty? You may be languishing. I’m glad to have a term for what I frequently feel when my motivation and focus are dulled.

According to Grant, it may have been the dominant emotion of 2021. The term was coined by a sociologist named Corey Keyes, who was struck that many people who weren’t depressed also weren’t thriving. Scientists believe feelings associated with languishing are reaching record numbers due to the unexpected emotional long-haul of the pandemic. 

Grant recommends getting immersed in a project or other entertainment as a way to move forward. Identify what brings you joy then bring it into your life at least once a week. As the pandemic drags on into 2022, let’s do what we can to move from a year of languishing to a year of flourishing. 

Affirmation: I will flourish in 2022.

Coaching questions: Have you identified feelings of languishing? Does having a term for what you’re feeling and knowing that others are feeling the same, make a difference? What will you do to help yourself move forward?