Tag: lonely

What Is the Experience of “Staying-Safe-At Home” Teaching You?

by Mershon Niesner

Language has created the word ‘loneliness’ to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word ‘solitude’ to express the glory of being alone. Paul Tillich, philosopher and theologian

Writing in a CLOVID-19 Diary is helping me process my feelings as I record my stay-safe-at-home life experience for posterity. Growing up as an only child with one parent, I learned early how to be alone without being lonely. However, this time of isolation has challenged my coping skills. Honestly—I’m struggling with this new reality. 

In order to gain a more positive perspective, I recently listed what I’m learning. See if anything resonates with you then write your own list.

So far, I’m learning how to: 

* appreciate stillness more

* value my worth by who I am rather than by how much I do

* be more introspective than I’ve been in years

* be more patient

* lean on my faith as it relates to this new life

* appreciate my husband more

* soak in nature more than ever

* make-do with the ingredients I have in my pantry

* make-do with who I am without outside reinforcement or acknowledgement

* recognize, with greater clarity, the great racial, economic, and political divide

* have empathy for the tremendous physical, economic, and emotional suffering without being personally overwhelmed

Affirmation: I can do this.

Coaching questions: So far, what are your takeaways from your stay-at-home experience? How is this experience changing you? 

Stay safe!

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Photo by Leon Liu on Unsplash

Wishing You Peace, Love, and Comfort

by Mershon Niesner

What is Christmas? It is tenderness for the past, courage for the present, hope for the future. It is a fervent wish that every cup may overflow with blessings rich and eternal, and that every path may lead to peace. Agnes M. Pharo, author

On this Christmas morning, I truly hope that someday every path will lead to peace. For Christians the world over, today has significance beyond the gifts and glitter. The story of Jesus’ birth is about love—God’s love for His creation.

Although it is a sad, even heart-breaking, day for many, I hope, Dear Readers, you will find a slice of love and joy in your life today. Please know that if you’re grieving, sad, or lonely— I’m thinking of you and I’m wishing you a Very Blessed Christmas!

Affirmation: Someone cares about me.

Coaching questions: What will you do to acknowledge your sadness while celebrating joy to the world? This is one day out of 365. What will tomorrow be like?

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The Value of Time Spent Alone

by Mershon Niesner

You cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with. Wayne W. Dyer

I don’t totally agree with Mr. Dyer’s quote. I think we all feel lonely from time to time no matter what our relationship is with ourselves. I used the quote because I think there is genuine value in time spent alone. Growing up as an only child with one parent meant I had plenty of alone-time. Throughout my life, I’ve welcomed time spent with just me. I like the quiet, the time for reflection, creativity, and acceptance. Alone-time helps me understand myself and others. I’m happy being in my own company.

Frequently when people are afraid of being alone they pursue relationships to escape themselves. When you’re comfortable in your own company, you can be with others without using them as a means of escape. Your relationships will be stronger when you learn how to enjoy your own company. 

Affirmation: I enjoy my own company. 

Coaching questions: How do you feel when you’re alone? If you’re answer is, “I hate being alone,” what steps will you take to learn how to enjoy your own company? 

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Photo by Nathan Anderson on Unsplash

Are You Lonely?

by Mershon Niesner

If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together. Old African proverb

John Cacioppo, American neuroscientist and author of Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection, argues that loneliness developed for important evolutionary reasons: to remind us that as social beings we must seek the company of others. Societies and individuals who drift into disconnection are fostering problems for the future. Twice as unhealthy as obesity, loneliness poses a significant health risk. Men are particularly vulnerable with nearly half of all men over 50 suffering from severe loneliness. This figure is expected to rise by 50% in the next fifteen years. 

For me, being motherless at a young age and living in a family of two, satisfying as it was, motivated me to broaden my relationships. It also taught me how to enjoy my own company—to be alone without being lonely. Though I’ve been motherless, divorced and widowed, I’ve rarely felt lonely. Like hobbies and physical activity, fostering the skill of making friends is developed when we need it the least. Friendship/relationships require attention. Similar to keeping your muscles strong, without effort and attention, relationship atrophy can easily set it and along with it loneliness. 

Affirmation: I am not alone.

Coaching questions: What are you doing now to keep loneliness at bay in the future? If you are lonely, what’s one step you will take today to feel less so—call an old friend, attend a social event, reach out to a neighbor, volunteer with others? 

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