Taking Care of Today Is Enough

So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today. New Living Translation of Matthew 6:35

When I read Matthew 6:35 in light of today’s world, I want to shout, “No kidding!” It seems like every day brings new “troubles” and “today’s trouble is (certainly) enough for today.” 

I’m a planner. In doing research for my book about mother loss, I discovered that it’s not unusual for people who have experienced early loss like to feel in control since they lost control of their life’s narrative so early. Planning is an artificial way to feel “in control.” For the first time in my life I’m in a circumstance of not planning beyond a few days. Plane travel—who knows when? House guests—who knows when? Meetings in person—who knows when? I’m going to reframe my frustration into an opportunity to learn to live more fully in the present and let the future just “be” for now.

Affirmation: I can be content without a plan.

Coaching question: In what way does Matthew 6:35 speak to you? 

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Photo by Sebastien Gabriel on Unsplash

Feeling Anxious? Check the Facts

Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained. Arthur Somers Roche, American author

In my experience, most daughters who have experienced early mother loss are significantly impacted by the anniversary date of their mother’s death. Many have anxiety and are fearful that they might die early like their mother. Others, feel guilty that they are surpassing how long she lived.

One thing daughters may find helpful to ease their feelings of anxiety around the anniversary date is knowing that scientific research suggests that the parents’ longevity doesn’t correlate directly with the longevity of their children. James Vaupel of the Max Planck Institute for Demographic Research in Rostock, Germany, writes, Only three percent of how long you’ll live, compared with the average, is explained by your parents’ longevity. By contrast, up to ninety percent of how tall you are is explained by your parents’ height. Even genetically identical twins vary widely in life span: the typical gap is more than fifteen years. 

Affirmation: I accept the facts that help me face my fear and anxiety.   

Coaching questions: What causes you to feel anxious? How do you keep this trickle of fear from creating a channel in your mind? If you’re coming up to the age your mother was when she died, how will you deal with your anxiety and celebrate your future? 

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Photo by Marina Vitale on Unsplash