On Being/Having A Step-Mother

Step parenting is like working at a late-night convenience store; all the responsibility and none of the authority. Valerie J. Lewis Coleman, author and publisher

I had a step-mother, my children have a step-mother, I am a step-mother. Although maligned in fairy tales, step-mothers frequently step into difficult situations, bringing a semblance of order to the family or provide a lonely husband/father with the companionship he deserves. 

As a step-mother to three adult children and eleven grandchildren who were born before my time, my main contribution has been to keep my opinions to myself. Now there are great-grand babies and the rule still holds. One of the sweetest Mother’s Day cards I’ve ever received was from my step-daughter. I keep a picture of it in my phone. See the card below….it makes my heart sing.

Affirmation: I can be a cool step-mother. 

Coaching questions: If you’re a step-mother, what’s your greatest challenge? To whom can you turn to help you handle your situation? If you had/have an “evil” step-mother, what will it take for you to forgive her (if you need to do it)?


Are We In a Fairy Tale?

The good mother’s death means a lot in fairy tales, not only for the child, but also for the woman. Helen Reis Mouraoin at http://www.cafecomjung.com

My friend, Kathleen, brought the fact of motherloss in fairy tales to my attention yesterday. It’s scary to think that after nearly 73 years I missed this profound connection.  Just think about it…Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast, Snow White, Hansel and Gretel…and then there is Bambi, Koda, Po, Ariel, Annie, Peter Pan, Finding Nemo, Aladdin, Pocahontas, etc. What a story line…mother dies, wicked step mother appears…and in more modern day stories, strong father enters, or children are lost and parentless. Good grief…have we been living a “fairy tale” life and didn’t know it?

The whole literary use of motherloss is a fascinating psychological study, enough so that I’m going to write a chapter on it in my book. In the meantime, I’m going to explore a bunch of kids movies and literature and see what sticks in my own life experiences. Who knew we could learn about ourselves while watching movies with our kids or grandkids?

Affirmation: I a learning something new everyday.

Coaching questions: Is there a fairy tale or children’s movie with which you identify? Why? What did you learn about yourself from it?