Share Your Scars and Be a Lighthouse For Others

The scars you share become lighthouses for other people who are headed to the same rocks you hit. Unknown

When I was researching, Mom’s Gone Now What?, over fifty women came forward to share their mother loss stories. Truly, their scars have become lighthouses for others. 

They shared their stories through their brave tears and, in doing so, powered their light to reach further “out to sea.” Their light empowered me as well. I will be forever grateful for their willingness to give of themselves.

We are frequently tempted to show up without scars. When asked, “How are you?” we often say, “Just fine.” What if we honestly shared a bit of our true selves? A scar or two? How then might we become a lighthouse for others? 

Affirmation: I am a lighthouse.

Coaching question: How can you be sure your light is keeping others from the rocks?

Photo by Joshua Hibbert on Unsplash 

Tacos Anyone?

Surround yourself with tacos, not negativity. Quote from Borracha Mexican Cantina website

Today is National Taco Day and I thought I’d celebrate by lightening up this blog a bit. You can only write/read about dead moms, dementia, and cancer for so long or, believe me, it will get to you. The name of this blog, however, is motherloss so sometimes I do have to stick with the program.

What’s your favorite taco? I personally love fish tacos served with a yummy lime-cilantro crema. I make it with mayonnaise, sour cream, scallions, lime, garlic, and cilantro. I think that combination of ingredients would probably be good on just about anything. Just Google fish tacos with crema for the recipe. 

So, have a taco today with salsa, crema, guacamole, or any other great toppings and take a break from what’s going on “out there.” (I’m going to take my own advice)

Affirmation: I will surround myself with tacos.

Coaching questions: What kind of tacos are you having tonight? Can I come over?


Are We In a Fairy Tale?

The good mother’s death means a lot in fairy tales, not only for the child, but also for the woman. Helen Reis Mouraoin at

My friend, Kathleen, brought the fact of motherloss in fairy tales to my attention yesterday. It’s scary to think that after nearly 73 years I missed this profound connection.  Just think about it…Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast, Snow White, Hansel and Gretel…and then there is Bambi, Koda, Po, Ariel, Annie, Peter Pan, Finding Nemo, Aladdin, Pocahontas, etc. What a story line…mother dies, wicked step mother appears…and in more modern day stories, strong father enters, or children are lost and parentless. Good grief…have we been living a “fairy tale” life and didn’t know it?

The whole literary use of motherloss is a fascinating psychological study, enough so that I’m going to write a chapter on it in my book. In the meantime, I’m going to explore a bunch of kids movies and literature and see what sticks in my own life experiences. Who knew we could learn about ourselves while watching movies with our kids or grandkids?

Affirmation: I a learning something new everyday.

Coaching questions: Is there a fairy tale or children’s movie with which you identify? Why? What did you learn about yourself from it?