Tag: personal growth

Overcoming Negative Messages

by Mershon Niesner

The language we use is extremely powerful. It is the frame through which we perceive and describe ourselves and our picture of the world. Iben Dissing Sandahl, licensed psychotherapist, family counsellor, teacher, and author

Most of us have much to overcome as we learn to affirm ourselves. Perhaps you’re receiving negative messages such as, “You’re stupid, Why are you so irresponsible? You never get it right! If only you were more like your sister. Of course you can’t lose weight, you have no self discipline.” Do any of these sound familiar?

Dispelling the negative reinforcement you received as a child, the damaging words you are currently receiving from others or from yourself, can be a life-long task. However, taking the responsibility of affirming yourself and quieting your Inner Critic, or what I call my Gremlin, can be one of the most important success-factors for your life. You have the power to overcome your past, stand up to the present, and create the future you desire. By affirming yourself and editing out negative voices, you can live the abundant life you desire. 

Affirmation: I give myself positive messages.

Coaching questions: What is the voice in your head saying to you? How will you dispel the negative messages? How will you affirm yourself?

Photo by Colton Sturgeon on Unsplash

Developing Strength and Resilience

by Mershon Niesner

My barn having burned to the ground, I can now see the moon. Japanese Haiku

I used this Haiku for one of my first blogs in March when we were still recovering from Hurricane Irma. We had lost so many trees in the mangroves next to our property that a water view emerged where there was none before. Now, more than a year after disaster struck, we are whole again—actually better than before the hurricane as everything that was replaced is to hurricane standards. 

As I look back over my life, I can see how I’ve recovered from the storms and, as a result, become stronger and more resilient. I’m better prepared than ever for what is next.

Affirmation: I am strong and resilient.

Coaching question: In what way have you grown through the “burning barns” of your life?

IMG_0931 (1).jpgThe mangroves off of Barfield Bay

Overcoming Hatred and Anger

by Mershon Niesner

One of the greatest lessons of my own life was learning to turn the inner rampage of hatred and anger toward my own father for his reprehensible behavior and abandonment of his family into an inner reaction more closely aligned with God and God-realized love. Wayne Dyer, American philosopher, self-help author, and motivational speaker

Sometimes the quote says it all. This is one of those stand-alone quotes that expresses the results of a lifetime of inner work and faith. Accepting and recognizing the reality of devastating behavior but choosing to not live a life filled with hatred and anger is a difficult  transformation. 

Daughters who were abandoned by their mothers frequently had a more difficult recovery than those whose mothers died. The “One Purpose” loss, as I call it, is devastating to a daughter’s self esteem and personal growth. And yet…like Dyer, I spoke with many women who had not only recovered but thrived after getting past their anger, sadness, disappointment, or hatred. 

Affirmation: I can overcome.

Coaching questions: What negative experience and bad feelings are you hanging onto? What’s a step you can take to let go of the negativity without excusing the behavior? What difference will living in a more loved-filled space make in your life?