Developing Strength and Resilience

My barn having burned to the ground, I can now see the moon. Japanese Haiku

I used this Haiku for one of my first blogs in March when we were still recovering from Hurricane Irma. We had lost so many trees in the mangroves next to our property that a water view emerged where there was none before. Now, more than a year after disaster struck, we are whole again—actually better than before the hurricane as everything that was replaced is to hurricane standards. 

As I look back over my life, I can see how I’ve recovered from the storms and, as a result, become stronger and more resilient. I’m better prepared than ever for what is next.

Affirmation: I am strong and resilient.

Coaching question: In what way have you grown through the “burning barns” of your life?

IMG_0931 (1).jpgThe mangroves off of Barfield Bay

Overcoming Hatred and Anger

One of the greatest lessons of my own life was learning to turn the inner rampage of hatred and anger toward my own father for his reprehensible behavior and abandonment of his family into an inner reaction more closely aligned with God and God-realized love. Wayne Dyer, American philosopher, self-help author, and motivational speaker

Sometimes the quote says it all. This is one of those stand-alone quotes that expresses the results of a lifetime of inner work and faith. Accepting and recognizing the reality of devastating behavior but choosing to not live a life filled with hatred and anger is a difficult  transformation. 

Daughters who were abandoned by their mothers frequently had a more difficult recovery than those whose mothers died. The “One Purpose” loss, as I call it, is devastating to a daughter’s self esteem and personal growth. And yet…like Dyer, I spoke with many women who had not only recovered but thrived after getting past their anger, sadness, disappointment, or hatred. 

Affirmation: I can overcome.

Coaching questions: What negative experience and bad feelings are you hanging onto? What’s a step you can take to let go of the negativity without excusing the behavior? What difference will living in a more loved-filled space make in your life?