What’s Keeping You From Confrontation?

Confrontation is a healthy avenue for you to stand up for yourself and your beliefs–to be heard and not silenced by inaction or fear. From The Chopra Center newsletter, article by Melissa Eisler

I admit it. Confrontation is my Achille’s heel. I believe that my childhood fear of abandonment, which still hovers in my psyche, is the root of my difficulty with confrontation. The little girl inside of me thinks, If I confront this person about what is making me angry, they will retaliate by emotionally abandoning me or, worse, leaving me altogether.

The irony is, if one doesn’t confront, resentment builds and physical or emotional leaving takes place because there is no confrontation. As difficult and scary as it may feel, constructive confrontation is worth it. Being mindful of your beliefs, clearly communicating where you stand, and speaking with objectivity rather than letting your emotions drive your response is a start.

Affirmation: I’m comfortable with confrontation.

Coaching questions: What keeps you from confronting? What is it costing you? What steps will you take to be more comfortable with confrontation? 


Beware of the Crabs In Your Life

The highest treason a crab can commit is to make a leap for the rim of the bucket. Steven Pressfield, American author

Did you know that when crabs are trapped in a bucket one could easily escape but its efforts will be undermined by the others ensuring the group’s collective demise? I learned this from my pastor yesterday. Great metaphor for “If I can’t have it, neither can you.” 

If you are a member of a group that attempts to reduce your self-confidence when you achieve success beyond the group out of envy, resentment, spite, or competitive feelings—get out! Sometimes this sabotage is subtle but you’ll feel it in your gut if you’re paying attention. You deserve all you can achieve. You deserve to be your best self. Don’t let anyone pull you back into the bucket.

Affirmation: I deserve to be my best self.

Coaching questions: Have you noticed the lack of support from the people around you? Are they sabotaging your success? If so, get out of that bucket. Have you ever pulled someone down because of your own envy or resentment? Think about it.