Tag: confrontation

What’s Keeping You From Confrontation?

by Mershon Niesner

Confrontation is a healthy avenue for you to stand up for yourself and your beliefs–to be heard and not silenced by inaction or fear. From The Chopra Center newsletter, article by Melissa Eisler

I admit it. Confrontation is my Achille’s heel. I believe that my childhood fear of abandonment, which still hovers in my psyche, is the root of my difficulty with confrontation. The little girl inside of me thinks, If I confront this person about what is making me angry, they will retaliate by emotionally abandoning me or, worse, leaving me altogether.

The irony is, if one doesn’t confront, resentment builds and physical or emotional leaving takes place because there is no confrontation. As difficult and scary as it may feel, constructive confrontation is worth it. Being mindful of your beliefs, clearly communicating where you stand, and speaking with objectivity rather than letting your emotions drive your response is a start.

Affirmation: I’m comfortable with confrontation.

Coaching questions: What keeps you from confronting? What is it costing you? What steps will you take to be more comfortable with confrontation? 

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On Becoming The Buffalo

by Mershon Niesner

Cows run away from the storm while the buffalo charges toward it—and gets through it quicker. Whenever I’m confronted with a tough challenge, I do not prolong the torment, I become the buffalo. Wilma Mankiller, the first woman elected to serve as chief of the Cherokee Nation.

“Do the hard thing first” is a common business productivity tip. “Feel the fear and do it anyway” is my personal mantra. Running toward the challenge, like the buffalo, rather than away from difficult choices, feelings, or confrontations, helps those who are willing to behave in this way, gain peace of mind sooner rather than later.

Life is short, take care of the difficult business of your life. Become the buffalo.

Affirmation: I can become the buffalo.

Coaching questions: What challenges in your life do you need to run towards right now? What first step will you take today? How will you feel after you’ve become the buffalo?

IMG_3413.jpgI took this photo a few years ago in Yellowstone National Park. Isn’t he beautiful?

You Did What?

by Mershon Niesner

Confrontation is a healthy avenue for you to stand up for yourself and your beliefs–to be heard and not silenced by inaction or fear. From The Chopra Center newsletter, article by Melissa Eisler

I will admit it… confrontation is my Achille”s heel. I’m discovering that my childhood fear of abandonment which I have brought forward with me is the root of my difficulty with confrontation. The little girl inside of me thinks, “If I confront this person about what is making me angry, they will retaliate by emotionally abandoning me or, worse, leaving me altogether.” The irony is, if one doesn’t confront, resentment builds and physical or emotional leaving takes place because there was NO confrontation. So…my logical conclusion is, as difficult and scary as it may feel, constructive confrontation is worth it.

Being mindful of your beliefs, clearly communicating where you stand, and speaking with objectivity rather than letting your emotions drive your responses is a start.

Affirmation: I am able to confront when necessary.

Coaching questions: What keeps you from confronting? What is it costing you not to confront? What steps can you take to confront in a meaningful and mindful way?