Are You A Procrastinator?

Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task. William James, American philosopher and psychologist, offered the first psychology course in the United States.

Procrastination is a common ailment. As James suggests, procrastination is fatiguing and can keep us from being our best selves. Procrastination often happens when we fear or have anxiety about the important task awaiting us. To get rid of the negative feeling, we procrastinate and move on to something more pleasurable. We may feel better temporarily but reality returns with a vengeance. Shame and guilt can ensue. 

Sometimes, as we procrastination (I’m writing this blog in order to put off editing my book), we actually accomplish things. Some people procrastinate to the point of urgency which is the only way they get difficult or important things done. One of the important things you can do as a procrastinator is to forgive yourself because procrastination is linked to negative feelings. Remember—you don’t have to be in the mood to do a task, sometimes you just have to grit your teeth and do it. 

Affirmation: I get important things done in a timely way.

Coaching questions: What is one thing you procrastinate about? What is something you can do to break the cycle and get things done at the appropriate time? 

Shhh….It’s A Secret

With a secret like that, at some point the secret itself becomes irrelevant. The fact that you kept it does not. Sara Gruen, author, Water for Elephants

Secrecy is a common denominator in families where tragedy has struck. The C-word is never mentioned, photos are put away, death is not discussed, the unspoken agreement is “don’t ask, don’t tell” where everyone is expected to act as if nothing happened.

After talking with motherless daughters who grew up in this type of environment, I’ve come to believe that the secrecy was as much of a problem as the actual death of their mother. Silence increased their feelings of shame, especially if their mother died when they were young and there was no opportunity to process their experience by openly acknowledging their mother’s existence and their profound loss.

Affirmation: I’m an open person.

Coaching questions: What are your family’s secrets? How have they affected you?