Every human being must find his own way to cope with severe loss, and the only job of a true friend is to facilitate whatever method he chooses. Caleb Carr, American military historian and author
Yesterday, at John McCain’s memorial service in Arizona, former Vice President Joe Biden, who has known considerable personal loss, comforted the McCain family and friends by saying, “When a memory comes to mind and a smile crosses your face before a tear comes to your eye, you know you are healing.”
Biden was assuring the gathered mourners that there is hope for recovery from their heart-breaking loss. His words comfort us all. Sometimes memories bring smiles AND tears. All our feelings are appropriate, of course, and we are fortunate if we have friends who honor our process.
Affirmation: I smile when I remember.
Coaching questions: Do memories of your mom bring smiles or tears? How do you measure your recovery progress? Acknowledge the friends who are/have supported you.