Values vs Differences

Our shared values define us more than our differences. And acknowledging those shared values can see us through our challenges today if we have the wisdom to trust in them again. John McCain, American statesman and military officer who served as a United States Senator until his death.

One of our greatest challenges in the U.S. today is learning to get along in our divided political landscape. For me, shared values and true friendship trumps (sorry for the pun) political differences. Yesterday, one of my best friends called to acknowledge how I’m using prayer for our president as a way to bring about change and inner peace for myself. She knows I’m taking action in other ways as well and supports my need for involvement. 

This is what friendship is all about! Overcoming our political divide has actually brought us closer as we have had to talk about the hard questions and define our common values. To her credit, it is my friend who has called me, not the other way around. Although our politics can occasionally be the “elephant or donkey in the room,” our friendship has survived and even thrived in spite of it. 

Affirmation: Shared values define my friendships.

Coaching questions: Do you have relationships that need repair in this environment? Are they worth it? If so, what will you do to heal in spite of your differences?

A Tear To A Smile

Every human being must find his own way to cope with severe loss, and the only job of a true friend is to facilitate whatever method he chooses. Caleb Carr, American military historian and author

Yesterday, at John McCain’s memorial service in Arizona, former Vice President Joe Biden, who has known considerable personal loss, comforted the McCain family and friends by saying, “When a memory comes to mind and a smile crosses your face before a tear comes to your eye, you know you are healing.” 

Biden was assuring the gathered mourners that there is hope for recovery from their heart-breaking loss. His words comfort us all. Sometimes memories bring smiles AND tears. All our feelings are appropriate, of course, and we are fortunate if we have friends who honor our process.

Affirmation: I smile when I remember.

Coaching questions: Do memories of your mom bring smiles or tears? How do you measure your recovery progress? Acknowledge the friends who are/have supported you.

Land of the Free – In memory of John McCain

We are living in the land of the free, the land where anything is possible, the land of the immigrant’s dream, the land with the storied past forgotten in the rush to the imagine future, the land that repairs and reinvents itself. Quote from The Restless Wave by John McCain, U.S. Senator and war hero (1936-2018)

Although John McCain was a self-proclaimed imperfect person, few can question his love and loyalty to the United States of America. The above quote is a good reminder of what patriotism looks like.

When my late husband, a decorated Viet Nam Veteran, visited Senator McCain…a man he revered… in Washington, McCain was welcoming, embracing veterans as comrades. Keith fondly remembered this encounter and never lost his respect for the man. How we treat others is how we are remembered….above our our fame or even our bravery.

Affirmation: I treat others with respect.

Coaching questions: Who do you know or have known that you consider a hero? Why do they deserve your accolades? How do you want to be remembered?