Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships. Stephen Covey, author
After I post this blog, I’m heading out to particulate in my writers’ critique group. Twice a month, five writers come together to read and critique each other’s work. I’m bringing future newspaper columns for them to comment on and correct.
Yesterday, my editor returned a re-written chapter from my book manuscript. Frequent evaluation isn’t for the faint of heart but it is a wonderful learning opportunity. For me, the important ingredient in the process is to trust those who are critiquing or editing. Trust that they have my best interest in mind, that they have expertise in writing/editing, and they are being completely honest in their evaluation. Difficult but gratifying.
Affirmation: Through trust, I learn.
Coaching questions: How do you feel about critiques or evaluations? Can your self esteem handle it? If you have a difficult question or problem to discuss, consider who you trust enough to help you evaluate.
I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you. Friedrich Nietzsche, German philosopher
Trust is the measure of a quality relationship. This is true of friends, business associates, world leaders. Here are four behaviors that demonstrate trustworthiness.
- Keep confidences. When you share confidential information, you destroy your trustworthiness with both the person you have betrayed and the person with whom you have shared the information.
- Show vulnerability. When you open up and share your goals and values with others, they perceive you as more trustworthy. You have “skin in the game” and something to lose.
- Respect boundaries. Set clear boundaries for yourself and hold them. In turn, honor the boundaries of others.
- Speak face to face. Twitter, Facebook and other social media outlets have become a breeding ground for distrust. If you have something important to say, speak to the person directly.
- Tell the truth. As Nietzsche says, once the foundation of truth-telling is broken, it can take a great deal for someone to trust again.
Affirmation: I am trustworthy.
Coaching questions: How do you measure trustworthiness? How do you instill trust in others? What’s one thing you can do to be perceived as a more trustworthy person?
Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God. Corrie Ten Boom, Dutch watchmaker who helped Jews escape the Nazi Holocaust and was imprisoned.
In a time of grief or despair, trusting in God can give us hope and a positive sense of expectancy.
When my late husband died suddenly from a heart attack ten months after we were married, I affirmed out loud to a couple of hundred people that God was my rock and I would be ok…and I was/am. I didn’t feel ok at the time but faith isn’t based on how we feel. We have choices….hope or despair.
If you’ve lost or given up on your faith, I encourage you to take another look. Inner peace follows the choice of hope and faith.
Affirmation: I have faith in God.
Coaching questions: What/who is the rock in your life? If this is a time of despair and hopelessness for you, what’s one step you can take to regain a sense of inner peace?