“Better the hard truth, I say, than the comforting fantasy.” Carl Sagan
I recently had the opportunity to talk with a honest, straight forward, 60-something daughter whose mother has dementia. She hadn’t responded to an interview request, we just happened to be sharing about such things. She said her mother was belligerent, sharp-tongued, even mean at times. I asked her if this is the result of the dementia. “No,” she replied, “she’s always been like that.”
Not all mothers, dead or alive, were/are sweet, loving, caring people. It is just fantasy, as Sagan says, to believe so. Sometimes when people die they become “saints” in our memories or, at least, in our sharing about them. Hiding real experiences and feelings slows recovery and keeps us from being our authentic selves.
Affirmation: I am a gentle truth teller.
Coaching questions: Is there some truth telling you need to do about someone in your life? How can you move towards at least being truthful with yourself?
Life after losing a mother 