You either get bitter or you get better. It’s that simple. You either take what has been dealt to you and allow it to make you a better person or you allow it to tear you down. The choice does not belong to fate. It belongs to YOU. Josh Shipp, youth motivational speaker
Of course, the natural and appropriate response to loss is sadness and grief. However, it’s been my experience that when the focus remains on the one you lost, there is less despair and depression than when the focus remains on yourself. When we get stuck in saying or thinking, “Why me? It’s not fair. How can I possibly cope?” we stymie our ability to move forward. So much depends on how we respond to our experience.
The motherless daughters I interviewed for my book who moved forward with their lives, frequently talked about all their mothers gave them, even if their time with them was short, rather than all they lost because of her death. Both conversations are appropriate but focusing on the former seemed to lead to more joy.
By her death, my mother gave me a greater sense of independence, the heart-felt reality that death is a part of life, and the ability to be more empathetic to those who experience loss.
Affirmation: I choose to get better.
Coaching questions: What is your response to loss? Is it working for you? What will help you focus more on the lost loved one and less on yourself?