Surviving Rejection

Be strong, be fearless, be beautiful. Believe that anything is possible when you have the right people there to support you. Misty Copeland, American ballet dancer

Not everyday is a good day at my desk. Today my short story was rejected for the Marco Island Writer’s Anthology. I respect the professionalism and expertise of the person who gave me feedback and I will rewrite my short story or start over. Rejection is a bitter pill to swallow but, as a writer, I’ve grown somewhat accustomed to it. 

The challenge of rejection is to not lose confidence in myself or my writing—to stay strong and keep pushing forward. Creating art in any form is a tricky business. Going public with my creative process means exposing myself time and again to an audience with a variety of opinions, interests, and levels of expertise. I will take the advise of a ballet dancer. I will stay strong and be fearless.  

Affirmation: I will persevere.

Coaching questions: In what ways does rejection affect you? Do you keep moving forward? If not, what support do you need to succeed? Where will you find it?

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Photo by Hudson Hintze on Unsplash

The Flow of Creativity

Harnessing your creative capacity can reduce your compulsion to consume–and enhance your joy in living. Quoted from an article by Dallas Hartwig and Pilar Gerasimo in Experience Life Magazine

We live in a society that promotes consumption–more things, more information, more experiences, more external approval. The more we consume, the less inclined we are to create; the less we create, the more inclined we are to consume. Creativity includes more than the obvious painting, writing, sculpting, etc. For you it may be creating an herb garden, cooking a meal, organizing a closet, or inviting friends to a book discussion.

Once we shut down the constant need to watch TV, play video games, shop, peruse social media and get into the flow of a creative pursuit, we will trigger a positive feedback loop that will inspire us to create more, leading to a greater sense of confidence and joy in our daily living.

Affirmation: I am creative.

Coaching requests: Identify a place where you mindlessly over-consume–TV, food, social media– then replace at least an hour of that time with a creative activity like writing in a gratitude journal, planting a succulent bowl, or making a new recipe. Improving your personal space also counts—like cleaning out a closet or decluttering the junk drawer.

Acknowledging Unloved Daughters

The taboos about “dissing” our mothers, and the myths of motherhood which portray all mothers as loving, serve to isolate unloved daughters. Peg Streep, author of Daughter Detox: Recovering from an Unloving Mother and Reclaiming Your Life

Let’s face it…not all mothers are loving, nurturing, Hallmark card women. It’s difficult to be realistic about mothers, especially dead mothers, who weren’t exempleary. According to Streep, an unloved daughter who was frequently ignored, unheard, or criticized, grows up with an internalized maternal voice which continues to undermine her accomplishments and talents unless there is intervention.

Frequently daughters who grow up with this lack of confidence feel that they are “fooling people” and fear they will be “found out” even when they are successful.

Affirmation: I am truthful about my mother.

Coaching questions: If you grew up with a an external, and now internal, voice that was negative, what steps will you take to become a more confident woman? What difference will this make in your life? If you were an unloved daughter, write your mother a letter telling her how you feel.