What Kind of Mother Are You?

By not paying attention to your body, you are putting it in the same predicament as a neglected child. Deepak Chopra, author

I’ve been writing the story of a friend who was disregarded and emotionally neglected as a child. Mother loss has many faces. Through perseverance, therapy, and a “never give up” spirit, she overcame many of her emotional scars. As I thought about her experiences, I started wondering about the little girl/boy inside us all. 

What is that child telling us? When we neglect our bodies by overeating/drinking, not giving our body proper exercise, enough sleep, and limited quiet time, we are neglecting the child within. How our parents took care of us, or how we wish they had taken care, is how we need to take care of ourselves. 

Affirmation: I take care of the child within.

Coaching question: If I interviewed your child within, what would he/she say?

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Photo by Humphrey Muleba on Unsplash

Getting Help When You Need It

It’s called a mental illness for a reason, because it is an illness. Why can’t it be accepted like any other illness? HealthyPlace.com

Today is World Mental Health Day which began in 1992 as a way to bring awareness to mental health issues and advocate for mental health education around the world. The theme this year is “Young People and Metal Health in a Changing World.” According to the World Health Organization, half of all mental illness begins by age 14 which makes this year’s theme particularly appropriate.

Many of the daughters I interviewed for my book who had experienced trauma around their mother loss experience, were wise enough to seek professional help. Whether you talk with your pastor, a counselor, or therapist, don’t let the perceived stigma around seeking help hold you back. Those people who want to be the best they can be seek help to obtain their goals. People with mental health issues, especially young people, need our respect and encouragement. I am forever grateful to the professionals who helped me in the past. 

Affirmation: I take care of my mental health. 

Coaching questions: Do you have an emotional or psychological issue or mental illness you can’t seem to overcome or work out by yourself? If you do, today is the day to make an appointment with a professional to help you move forward.

Healing Isn’t Forgetting

Healing doesn’t mean the damage never existed. It means the damage no longer controls our lives. Author unknown.

Two of the most difficult mother loss stories I heard as I interviewed daughters for my book were the stories from daughters whose mothers were murdered by their husbands, the daughters’ step-fathers. When domestic abuse culminates in murder, there is much opportunity for anger, hate, blame, and depression. 

Both of these daughters, one who lost her mother several years ago, the other, very recently, are both moving towards the goal of not allowing the damage of their horrific experience control their lives. They have both sought therapy, asked for support from friends and family, and have been gentle with themselves through their process of grief and healing. One daughter wrote a book entitled, The Third Return, about her mother’s life. Writing the book helped her to move on after the trial of her mother’s killer which lasted over eight years. 

Affirmation: I can heal.

Coaching questions: What negative energy, if any, controls your life? What will help you to take back control?

7 Tips For Surviving Loss

The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of those depths. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross (July 8, 1926 – August 24, 2004),  Swiss-American psychiatrist, a pioneer in near-death, grief studies and author 

  1. Have no secrets – tell the truth, talk about your experience, use real words, acknowledge reality
  2. Get outside of yourself – serve others, volunteer
  3. Use affirmations – affirm yourself and your progress, state what you want and how you want to be
  4. Connect to a community – find others (on line or in person) who have had a similar experience 
  5. Seek therapy – don’t try to recover on your own if you’re struggling
  6. Be kind to yourself – honor your individual grief process, your anger, and your guilt
  7. Honor the person you have lost by working your way back to living life to the fullest

Affirmation: I have found my way out of the depths.

Coaching questions: If you’ve experienced loss, what tips might work for you? What will you do today to implement your choice? What difference might it make?