Blog

A Dragonfly’s Magic

by Mershon Niesner

Dragonflies are reminders that we are light and we can reflect light in powerful ways if we choose to do so. Robyn Nola, Artist and believer in the power of affirmation

In almost every part of the world, the Dragonfly symbolizes change, transformation, adaptability, and self-realization. The Dragonfly is iridescent both on its wings and body. The magical property of iridescence is associated with the discovery of one’s ability by unmasking the real self and removing the doubts cast on his/her sense of identity. 

Discovering and embracing who we truly are is an integral part of our maturity. A friend of mine who faces the challenge of addiction recovery has a Dragonfly tattoo on her arm as a symbol of her transformation. To her the Dragonfly stands for hope, change, and love. A powerful daily reminder that she has embraced change and remains true to herself.

Affirmation: I am true to myself. 

Coaching questions: In what ways have you changed and become more of your true self? What symbol would you use to prompt you to reflect light and embrace self-realization? 

IMG_2603 (1)

Black Cats Howl and Pumpkins Gleam

by Mershon Niesner

When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam, may luck be yours on Halloween. Unknown

Halloween had its origins in the festival of Samhain among the Celts of ancient Britain and Ireland. Halloween is a contraction of All Hallows’ Eve, the evening before All Saints’ Day. In ancient times, November 1 was the beginning of a new year. 

During the Celtic festival, it was believed the souls of those who had died returned to visit their homes, and those who had died during the year journeyed to the otherworld. Masks were worn to avoid being recognized by ghosts and it is in those ways that witches, hobgoblins, fairies and demons became associated with the day. When large numbers of immigrants entered the U.S., particularly the Irish, they brought Halloween with them. 

Trick or Treat??

Affirmation: I embrace our rich heritage.

Coaching question/request: What traditions did your ancestors bring with them? Enjoy your Halloween!

IMG_2602.jpg

Three Steps To Help You Handle Change

by Mershon Niesner

I have accepted fear as part of life—specifically the fear of change….I have gone ahead despite the pounding in the heart that says: turn back…. Erica Jong, American novelist, satirist and poet

Change is in the air. Change of seasons, the clock, politics, personal health, job, family make-up, or location. Some changes are easily to make…others, not so much. Here are three reminders to help you handle change:

  1. Change isn’t the enemy but your reaction to the change may be. Start small. Your motivation to proceed will come from the step by step readjustment of your attitude. 
  2. Expect discomfort. This is like slowing down before a bump in the road. When you do, you’re less likely to be sent flying. 
  3. Acknowledge your past successes and have confidence in your ability to be resilient. You left home for kindergarten, survived the loss of a parent, moved across the country. You’ve mastered change before and you can do it again. 

Affirmation: I can handle change.

Coaching questions: What change are you facing? What’s one step you will take this week to facilitate successful change? 

Who Deserves Your Gratitude?

by Mershon Niesner

Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow. Melody Beattie, American author of self-help books on codependent relationships

In her blog, Cup of Jo, Jenny Rosenstrach told the story of how Gina Hamadey, a writer and content strategist, wrote a thank you note everyday for a year. She used a theme for each month like neighbors, friends, food, family, health and sent snail mail notes to people she had reason to thank. She handed out some notes to people like the bookstore clerk or her babysitter and mailed the rest. You can follow Gina’s progress on Instagram at @thankyouyear.

In addition to love, what the world needs now is gratitude. What would it mean to you to receive a note of thanks?  What would it mean for your children/grandchildren to see you model appreciation? I’m committing to write a note once a week. What about you?

Affirmation: I’m very grateful. 

Coaching questions: To whom would you like to send a handwritten note of thanks? Do it!

Do We Paint The Gold Leaf Green?

by Mershon Niesner

The irony is that the more we fight age, the more it shows. Paint on a 50-year-old face brings to mind a Gilbert and Sullivan comic figure. Smooth the cheeks, and suddenly the ear lobes and hands look out of place. Do we run around in October, painting the gold leaves green? Karen DeCrow, American attorney, author, activist and feminist 

This is another stand-alone quote. What wisdom DeCrow shares with us. First, that aging is natural and its futile to try to cover it up. Second, the aging face is beautiful, like the gold leaves of Fall. 

Those of us who feel fortunate to have lived a long life in the wake of mothers who died young, honor our aging. As the first generation of three who has lived beyond my thirties, every year is gravy, icing on the cake. And now, these Fall, nearly Winter, years of my life are the cherry on top. 

Affirmation: I honor the season of life I’m in.

Coaching questions: What season of life are you in? Have you lived past the age your mother died? In what ways do you live your best life while honoring the age and stage you’re in?

IMG_2598.jpg

Save a “Starfish”

by Mershon Niesner

She wanted to be a shining star in the sky, ended up being a starfish thrown in and out by the sea. Tamanna, Indian actress known only by her first name

After a big storm, a young girl took a walk on a beach strewn with thousands of stranded star fish dying in the sun. She picks one up and throws it back in the ocean. A man walking by says, “Little girl, don’t waste your time. You can’t save them all. You can’t make a difference.” As she threw one more star fish back to sea, she replied, “I made a difference to that one.” 

I’ve been doing little things in an effort to make a difference during this political season. When I stand on a corner with a sandwich board with candidate’s names waving at those driving by or stand outside a poll as a greeter, it often feels futile until I remember the little girl with the star fish. Writing a blog can feel equally futile. How many readers do I reach? What difference does it make? And yet….if only one, it is worth it.

Affirmation: One little thing can make a difference.

Coaching questions: What are you throwing back into the ocean? What small difference are you making? If you’re overcome by the feeling of helplessness, do one thing to make  a difference — no matter how small.

IMG_2597.jpg

Be a Lighthouse To Others

by Mershon Niesner

The scars you share become lighthouses for other people who are headed to the same rocks you hit. Unknown

In the process of writing my book on mother loss, fifty-five women came forward to tell their stories of early death, abandonment, murder, and loss to dementia. Each daughter thanked me for the opportunity to share their experiences and what they learned so that others, with a similar life story, could benefit. They are lighthouses.

In return, each daughter expressed the joy she felt in being heard and understood. Each recognized the value of speaking her truth, no matter how painful. Many said, “This is the first time I’ve told anyone this” or “I don’t often speak of…” or “It feels so good to speak of my mother.” 

Whatever your scar may be, use your experience to become a lighthouse to others. The light shines both ways.

Affirmation: I am a lighthouse.

Coaching questions: How can you use your scars to become a lighthouse for others. Think of one thing you can do (sponsor a walk for a disease, donate to a cause, speak with someone experiencing what you’ve experienced) then proceed.

IMG_2582

Beware of the Crabs In Your Life

by Mershon Niesner

The highest treason a crab can commit is to make a leap for the rim of the bucket. Steven Pressfield, American author

Did you know that when crabs are trapped in a bucket one could easily escape but its efforts will be undermined by the others ensuring the group’s collective demise? I learned this from my pastor yesterday. Great metaphor for “If I can’t have it, neither can you.” 

If you are a member of a group that attempts to reduce your self-confidence when you achieve success beyond the group out of envy, resentment, spite, or competitive feelings—get out! Sometimes this sabotage is subtle but you’ll feel it in your gut if you’re paying attention. You deserve all you can achieve. You deserve to be your best self. Don’t let anyone pull you back into the bucket.

Affirmation: I deserve to be my best self.

Coaching questions: Have you noticed the lack of support from the people around you? Are they sabotaging your success? If so, get out of that bucket. Have you ever pulled someone down because of your own envy or resentment? Think about it.

IMG_2592.jpg

Developing Strength and Resilience

by Mershon Niesner

My barn having burned to the ground, I can now see the moon. Japanese Haiku

I used this Haiku for one of my first blogs in March when we were still recovering from Hurricane Irma. We had lost so many trees in the mangroves next to our property that a water view emerged where there was none before. Now, more than a year after disaster struck, we are whole again—actually better than before the hurricane as everything that was replaced is to hurricane standards. 

As I look back over my life, I can see how I’ve recovered from the storms and, as a result, become stronger and more resilient. I’m better prepared than ever for what is next.

Affirmation: I am strong and resilient.

Coaching question: In what way have you grown through the “burning barns” of your life?

IMG_0931 (1).jpgThe mangroves off of Barfield Bay

What’s In Your Fridge?

by Mershon Niesner

As we enter the season of endless hors d’oeuvres and multi course meals, consider this not-so-festive fact: Nearly half of the food in this country ends up in landfills. Sarah Engler, Editorial Director at Natural Resources Defense Council

Tomorrow is National Food Day. One target of the day is to help people “Eat Real,” which is defined as cutting back on sugar drinks, overly salted packaged foods and fatty, factory-farmed meats. It is a cerebration of healthy, affordable and sustainably produced food. It is estimated that 40 percent of the food in the U.S. goes uneaten and waste from foods makes up 21 percent of all landfill trash. Greenhouse gases generated by decomposing food is equal to emissions from 37 million cars annually.

In addition to all those “starving kids in China” your mother always brought up when you didn’t eat your spinach, think about the nearly 13 percent of people in the U.S. and many millions around the world who struggle for food everyday. Manage what you buy, save and eat leftovers, and find new ways to have less waste at your house. 

Affirmation: I “Eat Real” and am careful about waste.

Coaching question/requests: What’s in your refrigerator? If there are bits and pieces of food, consider how you can use them rather than create waste. Make a menu plan and a grocery list and stick to it when you shop.