Tag: mental health

FEELING HOPELESS OR HELPLESS TODAY?

by Mershon Niesner

If you can’t feed a hundred people, just feed one. Mother Teresa

The day after a national election is always difficult for a little less than half of the population. We may feel hopeless and helpless and asking ourselves, “What more could I have done to make a difference? What can I do in the future to make the world a better place?”

Yesterday I sat in the pouring rain (I forgot my jacket) campaigning for someone I believed in for city council. I had done other campaigning for her but yesterday  I wasn’t making much of a difference. Most people in the community had already voted and my sign waving was receiving little, if any, attention. I could have gotten out of the rain and gone home. And yet, I stayed. I did it more for myself than for my candidate. I did it because it was one thing I could do. I could “feed one” or possibly influence one person. Just one! I did it to feel less helpless. I needed to DO something. 

It’s like the story of the star fish. Hundreds were on the beach dying and a little boy was throwing one back into the ocean. When a man asked him what difference he was making when so many were dying, the little boy pointed toward the sea and said, “I made a difference to that one.”

Affirmation: I can feed one. 

Coaching question: How have you taken care of yourself in the past when you’ve felt hopeless or helpless? 

Photo by Pedro Lastra on Unsplash

Flex Your Relationship Muscle

by Mershon Niesner

The most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved. Mother Teresa, Albanian-Indian Catholic nun and the founder of the Missionaries of Charity

John Cacioppo, American neuroscientist and author of Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection, argues that loneliness developed for important evolutionary reasons; to remind us that, as social beings, we must seek the company of others. 

Twice as unhealthy as obesity, loneliness poses a significant health risk. Men are particularly vulnerable with nearly half of all men over 50 suffering from severe loneliness. This figure is expected to rise by 50% in the next fifteen years. 

Relationships require attention. Similar to keeping your muscles strong, without effort and attention, relationship atrophy can easily set in and, along with it, loneliness. 

This is the perfect time of year to reach out to someone who may be feeling lonely. Send them a note, give them a call, even a text acknowledges that you’re thinking about them. 

Affirmation: I will help myself and others feel less lonely.

Coaching questions: What are you doing to keep loneliness at bay? How are you reaching out to those who may be lonely? 

Photo by Mykyta Martynenko on Unsplash

Overcoming Negative Messages

by Mershon Niesner

The language we use is extremely powerful. It is the frame through which we perceive and describe ourselves and our picture of the world. Iben Dissing Sandahl, licensed psychotherapist, family counsellor, teacher, and author

Most of us have much to overcome as we learn to affirm ourselves. Perhaps you’re receiving negative messages such as, “You’re stupid, Why are you so irresponsible? You never get it right! If only you were more like your sister. Of course you can’t lose weight, you have no self discipline.” Do any of these sound familiar?

Dispelling the negative reinforcement you received as a child, the damaging words you are currently receiving from others or from yourself, can be a life-long task. However, taking the responsibility of affirming yourself and quieting your Inner Critic, or what I call my Gremlin, can be one of the most important success-factors for your life. You have the power to overcome your past, stand up to the present, and create the future you desire. By affirming yourself and editing out negative voices, you can live the abundant life you desire. 

Affirmation: I give myself positive messages.

Coaching questions: What is the voice in your head saying to you? How will you dispel the negative messages? How will you affirm yourself?

Photo by Colton Sturgeon on Unsplash

Now, That’s Showing Gratitude!

by Mershon Niesner

When trying to go to sleep, instead of counting sheep, try counting things you’re grateful for— in alphabetical order. AJ Jacobs, author

If you live in the U.S.A., our national day of gratitude is just around the corner but I believe every day should be a day for giving thanks and AJ Jacobs, author of Thanks a Thousand, is just the guy to emulate. 

Jacob’s book recounts his mission to thank every single person who played a part in making his morning coffee, over 1,000 people. His journey took him from coffeeshop barista to the Colombian coffee farmer to the lid designer. Oh, he also thanked the lady from pest control who kept the bugs out of the coffee warehouse. 

Showing gratitude is good for our physical and mental health. Research indicates that keeping a gratitude journal helps patients in their recovery and health-care workers’ stress levels decline by an average of 28 percent. 

We humans are naturally negative. Spreading gratitude is a way to make the world a better place. 

Affirmation: I’m grateful.

Coaching questions/request: Who have you thanked today? What difference does it make when someone thanks you? Think of someone who rarely receives appreciation and thank them.

Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplash

How Do You Deal With Your Mental Health Issues?

by Mershon Niesner

Anxiety was born in the very same moment as mankind. And since we will never be able to master it, we will have to learn to live with it— just as we have learned to live with storms. Paulo Coelho, Brazilian novelist

Recently, we’ve seen how mental health issues can affect elite athletes. But, as Coelho writes, “Anxiety was born in the same moment as mankind.” We all experience anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues from time to time. 

If you’re currently plagued by anxiety, Tamar Chansky, Ph.D., a psychologist and author of Freeing Yourself, offers this suggestion. “Reel yourself back to the present. Panic attacks can often make you feel like you’re dying or having a heart attack. Remind yourself: ‘I’m having a panic attack, but it’s harmless, it’s temporary, and there’s nothing I need to do.’” 

In addition, fact check your thoughts, identify three things you see, hear, and parts of your body, exercise, stay away from sugar and stimulants, watch a funny video, talk to someone about your feelings. 

Affirmation: I care about my mental health and the mental health of others.

Coaching questions: How do you deal with your mental health issues? If you’re suffering from anxiety or depression, what’s one step you’ll take to address your issue?

Photo by Zoë Reeve on Unsplash 

A New Look At Procrastination

by Mershon Niesner

For decades, psychological research has been able to explain procrastination as a functioning problem, not a consequence of laziness. 

Procrastination isn’t about being lazy. Being curious about the underlying issues rather than judging the behavior can be very helpful. For instance, procrastination can be a symptom of feeling my attempts will not be good enough or acceptable. They may be a result of not knowing how to take the first steps or not having the innate capacity to divide a large project into smaller, manageable pieces. Perhaps a person seems to be procrastinating when they are actually struggling with mental health issues or a difficult home environment. 

People don’t want to fail or disappoint. There are always barriers, whether we see them or not. 

Affirmation: I will take a deeper look at procrastination.

Coaching questions: Why do you procrastinate? How do you judge others who procrastinate? What’s a step you’ll take to discover the underlying causes of your procrastination? 

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Getting Help When You Need It

by Mershon Niesner

It’s called a mental illness for a reason, because it is an illness. Why can’t it be accepted like any other illness? HealthyPlace.com

Today is World Mental Health Day which began in 1992 as a way to bring awareness to mental health issues and advocate for mental health education around the world. The theme this year is “Young People and Metal Health in a Changing World.” According to the World Health Organization, half of all mental illness begins by age 14 which makes this year’s theme particularly appropriate.

Many of the daughters I interviewed for my book who had experienced trauma around their mother loss experience, were wise enough to seek professional help. Whether you talk with your pastor, a counselor, or therapist, don’t let the perceived stigma around seeking help hold you back. Those people who want to be the best they can be seek help to obtain their goals. People with mental health issues, especially young people, need our respect and encouragement. I am forever grateful to the professionals who helped me in the past. 

Affirmation: I take care of my mental health. 

Coaching questions: Do you have an emotional or psychological issue or mental illness you can’t seem to overcome or work out by yourself? If you do, today is the day to make an appointment with a professional to help you move forward.