How To Negate Negativity

The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for a newer and richer experience. Eleanor Roosevelt

Did you know that your brain is built to be more sensitive to unpleasant news than it is to pleasant? You’ll probably remember the rebuke longer than you’ll remember the praise. Sometimes, the sadness of death will impact a person more than the feelings of joy and warmth they received from their loved one.

This bias for negativity generally causes us to worry more than necessary, fear the worst, and focus on bad narratives for too long. When we allow this to happen, we rob ourselves of experiencing the joys around us.

Eckhart Tolle, spiritual teacher and author, writes, “All negativity is caused by an accumulation of psychological time and denial of the present. Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are caused by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of non-forgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence.”

Affirmation: I feel the joy.

Coaching questions/requests: Are you experiencing an abundance of anxiety, stress, or worry? What about sadness, bitterness, regret? This week, take time to be aware of your negativity. As you do so, refocus your thoughts by meditating, having an attitude of gratitude, establishing a “worry time” or writing down your negative thoughts to get them out of your head. Some negativity will hang around for a while and that’s ok. What counts is your continued effort to redirect and reprogram. You will see the effects of it over time, just stick with it.

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Photo by Bruno Aguirre on Unsplash

Tacos Anyone?

Surround yourself with tacos, not negativity. Quote from Borracha Mexican Cantina website

Today is National Taco Day and I thought I’d celebrate by lightening up this blog a bit. You can only write/read about dead moms, dementia, and cancer for so long or, believe me, it will get to you. The name of this blog, however, is motherloss so sometimes I do have to stick with the program.

What’s your favorite taco? I personally love fish tacos served with a yummy lime-cilantro crema. I make it with mayonnaise, sour cream, scallions, lime, garlic, and cilantro. I think that combination of ingredients would probably be good on just about anything. Just Google fish tacos with crema for the recipe. 

So, have a taco today with salsa, crema, guacamole, or any other great toppings and take a break from what’s going on “out there.” (I’m going to take my own advice)

Affirmation: I will surround myself with tacos.

Coaching questions: What kind of tacos are you having tonight? Can I come over?

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Judgment Detox

You may not be able to avoid judgmental thoughts but you can teach yourself to dismiss them. Gabrielle Bernstein, author of Judgment Detox: Release the Beliefs That Hold You Back From Living a Better Life. (information taken from Experience Life magazine)

I admit it. I’m one of those people who struggles with a judgmental attitude.  Bernstein speaks to me when she writes, “Judgment is a reliable little crutch when we feel hurt, insecure, or vulnerable. When we judge others, we feel better than them–smarter, savvier, more enlightened etc.” She goes on to say, however, that after the “high” we may feel the stress of guilt and the energy drain of inner turmoil.

We may not be able to rid ourselves of judgment–and at times discernment is healthy—but we can look deeper to find the root cause that lies beneath the pattern. When you begin this detox, as Bernstein calls it, you will feel less comfortable with gossip and negativity, clues that you’re on the right path.

Affirmation: I can curtail my judgmental nature.

Coaching questions: If you’re a judgmental person, what steps can you take to detox? What is the root cause of your judgmental nature? How will being less judgmental bring greater health and happiness to your life?