Blog

How’s Your Balance These Days?

by Mershon Niesner

We have overstretched our personal boundaries and forgotten that true happiness comes from living an authentic life fueled with a sense of purpose and balance. Dr. Kathleen Hall, author of A Life in Balance: Nourishing the Four Roots of True Happiness and founder of Mindful Living Network®

We hear the term “balance” bandied around so frequently that we may have forgotten the definition—equilibrium or a state in which opposing forces harmonize. 

Balance gives us a sense of wholeness, calmness, and the ability to acknowledge multiple viewpoints/circumstances without feeling overwhelmed. Balance can be achieved when we consciously seek the middle by having empathy for others, analyzing alternate perspectives, looking for the good, showing gratitude. 

When we intentionally commit to seeking balance in our lives, we can improve our well-being and, at the same time, become the change we want to see in our world. 

Affirmation: I strive to live a balanced life.

Coaching questions: Where do you experience imbalance? What’s one thing you’ll do to bring greater balance to your life?

Photo by Bekir Dönmez on Unsplash

Spring Clean Your Life

by Mershon Niesner

Your mind is a garden your thoughts are the seeds, you can grow flowers or weeds. Unknown

It’s Spring in many parts of the world and our instinct tells us to clean out the proverbial “cobwebs” of winter. This usually means getting rid of unworn clothing, uneaten canned goods, or the unused assortment of junk in our drawers. 

But, what if, along with corners of the bathroom and under the sink, we cleaned out our lives? You know, the what-ifs, the toxic relationships, or the unending worries? Mentally we can achieve the same renewal that we give our environment when we ready our life for the planting of flowers rather than weeds. 

Affirmation: I will spring clean my life.

Coaching questions: Where will you start—finances, relationships, time? How will you feel when your mind/life is renewed and refreshed? 

Photo by Jen Theodore on Unsplash 

Take A Moment To Be Still

by Mershon Niesner

It’s about the white spaces between the paragraphs, which I think are more important than any of the text. It allows you to think about what’s just been said. Fred Rogers, American television personality and much, much more

As a Life Coach, I was trained to recognize and encourage the white spaces, times when a question is asked and there is a long pause. I learned to be still, to let the responder think, and perhaps get uncomfortable with the silence. The same is true with the written word. Without paragraphs or chapter breaks the magnitude of words would overwhelm us. 

I’ve designed the affirmation and coaching questions in this blog to serve as white space. Say the affirmation aloud, sit with it a moment. As you read the coaching questions, be still and see what resonates. Being quiet is an important aspect of mental health and personal growth. Allow your body, soul, mind, and God to speak to you. Be still and listen.

Affirmation: I honor the stillness.

Coaching question/request: How do you view the white spaces in your life? With fear, contempt, joy? Take a moment to be still.

Lessons From Ariel

by Mershon Niesner

Who says that my dreams have to stay my dreams? Ariel in Little Mermaid

Last week, two of my grandkids (see photo) were in the musical, Little Mermaid. My grandson, Agostino, was the human, Prince Eric. My granddaughter, Marcella, was a seahorse with a surprising amount of stage time and lines. Watching the show got me wondering about the meaning. Here’s what I found.

—If you give up on your dreams, life can get boring. 

—If we try our best, we have a good chance of succeeding.

—Don’t let anyone take your voice away. Use your voice to make a difference!

—Cherish your friends. Do you have a Flounder, Sebastian or Scuttle in your life?

—Learn to think outside the box; like using a fork as a comb.

—Be curious! Explore and seek new knowledge everyday.

Affirmation: I will never give up on my dreams.

Coaching questions: What lessons have you learned from tv shows, movies, books, plays? What lessons from Little Mermaid speak to you?

Building Strength–One Adversity At A Time

by Mershon Niesner

There are uses to adversity, and they don’t reveal themselves until tested. Whether it’s serious illness, financial hardship, or the simple constraint of parents who speak limited English, difficulty can tap unexpected strengths. Sonia Sotomayor, Associate Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States

I believe the growth spurts of my life have been when adversity has reared its ugly head. At times, the testing tapped into unexpected or latent strengths, as Justice Sotomayor suggests, and, at others, adversity created a Me who was stronger than before.

When I go to the gym, my exertion on the muscle building machines tears down my muscle so that, when it repairs itself, it is bigger and stronger. I believe this is what happens when life brings us challenges. We are temporarily torn only to grow again, stronger than ever.

Affirmation: I am strong.

Coaching questions: In what ways have you been tested? In what ways has the testing changed you?

How Will You Spend Your Day?

by Mershon Niesner

How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. Annie Dillard, American author

I don’t have to tell you that life is precious and goes by fast. That’s why it’s important to pay attention to how we spend our time. Making good decisions about how we use our time is dependent on being clear about who we are and what’s important to us. It helps us eliminate what doesn’t matter. 

Big and small decisions are what keep us moving through our lives. Sometimes we use trial and error; other times we have a systematic approach. Either way, being clear about where we’re going and what’s important will keep us spending our days in a way that’s in tune with how we want to spend the years we have left.

Affirmation: I want to spend my limited time in a meaningful way.

Coaching questions: What are you putting your energy into? Do your actions honor your values?

Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplash 

Celebrating Women Who Provide Healing and Promote Hope

by Mershon Niesner

A woman is like a tea bag—you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water. Eleanor Roosevelt

Women’s History Month is a celebration of women’s contributions to history, culture and society and has been observed annually in the month of March in the United States since 1987.

The National Women’s History Alliance designates a yearly theme for Women’s History Month. The 2022 theme is “Women Providing Healing, Promoting Hope.” This theme is “both a tribute to the ceaseless work of caregivers and frontline workers during this ongoing pandemic and also a recognition of the thousands of ways that women of all cultures have provided both healing and hope throughout history.”

Affirmation: I am a woman who contributes.

Coaching question: How do you provide healing and promote hope?

Learning To Live With Loss

by Mershon Niesner

What we have once enjoyed we can never lose; all that we deeply love becomes a part of us. Helen Keller

(This is a repurposed blog from a few years ago but I thought the message important enough to repeat.)

Loss of a loved one is always difficult. It’s the price we pay for having a great love. However, we can be joyful again as we learn to accommodate to life after loss.

C.S. Lewis in A Grief Observed likened accepting your life after loss to a man learning to walk after a leg has been amputated. Lewis writes, “The amputee may get along quite well, may even become facile and agile on crutches or on a carefully designed artificial limb. But the amputee must accommodate to permanent loss. He or she will never walk as before; repair does not mean a return to the way things were.”

Our life will never be as it was before our loss but those we love are always a part of us. 

Affirmation: I can learn to be joyful again after loss.

Coaching questions: How are you different after loss? In what ways have you accommodated to your loss? What will you do next? 

How Much Time Do You Spend On Your Phone?

by Mershon Niesner

The average American checks her phone 262 times a day. reviews.org

Two-hundred-sixty-two times a day!! Yikes! Tapping into all those news alerts, social posts, and texts comes at a big price. According to Johann Hari, author of Stolen Focus: Why You Can’t Pay Attention—and How to Think Deeply Again, cites research that it can take about 23 minutes to get back to the same level of attention we started with. 

The result? “We’re constantly living with profoundly degraded brainpower,” Hari writes. Suggestions on how to solve nomophobia (can’t be without my phone), a psychological condition that’s up for inclusion in the American Psychiatric Association’s handbook, include:

—Set a timer that signals it’s time to move away from your phone

—Install an app to block you from the internet for periods of time

—Lay your silenced phone upside down so you won’t be distracted by alerts on the screen

Lastly, connect to loved ones with your eyes! You’ll see clearly what matters most. 

Affirmation: I will be conscious of my phone time.

Coaching questions: Is time on your phone affecting your work or relationships? If you think you need to cut down on phone time, how will you accomplish this? When will you start?

Photo by Neil Soni on Unsplash 

Changing Bad Habits

by Mershon Niesner

’Tis easier to prevent bad habits than to break them. Benjamin Franklin

According to experts, about forty percent of our daily life is habitual action.

Gretchen Rubin, author of Better Than Before: Mastering the Habit of Our Everyday Lives, writes, “Habit is a good servant but a bad master.” In other words, habits can help us make positive change but they can also be saboteurs of our progress.

Often, the most effective way to adopt a new habit is to replace a bad one with a better one. Diverting a river is better than damming it up. Watch for triggers that might set you back including boredom and stress.

Affirmation: I can change my habits.

Coaching questions: What bad habit would you like to change? What good habit would you like to develop? What difference will it make in your life? Is the change powerful enough to pull you through at least sixty days of developing a new path? Commit to it. You can do this!