Blog

Wishing You Peace, Love, and Comfort

by Mershon Niesner

What is Christmas? It is tenderness for the past, courage for the present, hope for the future. It is a fervent wish that every cup may overflow with blessings rich and eternal, and that every path may lead to peace. Agnes M. Pharo, author

On this Christmas morning, I truly hope that someday every path will lead to peace. For Christians the world over, today has significance beyond the gifts and glitter. The story of Jesus’ birth is about love—God’s love for His creation.

Although it is a sad, even heart-breaking, day for many, I hope, Dear Readers, you will find a slice of love and joy in your life today. Please know that if you’re grieving, sad, or lonely— I’m thinking of you and I’m wishing you a Very Blessed Christmas!

Affirmation: Someone cares about me.

Coaching questions: What will you do to acknowledge your sadness while celebrating joy to the world? This is one day out of 365. What will tomorrow be like?

IMG_2711.jpg

Honor the White Space In Your Life

by Mershon Niesner

It’s about the white spaces between the paragraphs, which I think are more important than any of the text. It allows you to think about what’s just been said. Fred Rogers, American television personality and much, much more

As a Life Coach, I was trained to recognize and encourage the white spaces, times when a question is asked and there is a long pause. I learned to be still, let the responder think, and perhaps get uncomfortable with the silence. The same is true with the written word. Without paragraphs or chapter breaks the magnitude of words would overwhelm us. 

I’ve designed the affirmation and coaching questions in this blog to serve as white space. Say the affirmation aloud, sit with it a moment. As you read the coaching questions, be still and see what resonates. Being quiet is an important aspect of mental health and personal growth. Allow your body, soul, mind, and God to speak to you. Be still and listen.

Affirmation: I honor the white spaces.

Coaching question/request: How do you view the white spaces in your life? Take a moment to be still.

dominik-dombrowski-KNUp-YBwBSE-unsplash.jpg

Photo by Dominik Dombrowski on Unsplash

Celebrating With a Viking Toast

by Mershon Niesner

Stonehenge is perfectly aligned to the sunset on winter solstice, as is Newgrange in Ireland. From Saturnalia in ancient Rome, to Yalda night in Iran, to a party in Illinois, groups gather to celebrate the passing of the longest night.

Tomorrow is winter solstice, the day when one of the Earth’s poles has its maximum tilt away from the sun. It is the day with the least sunlight and marks the beginning of winter in the Northern Hemisphere. For thousands of years, people have celebrated the solstice. 

Jacqui, a long-time friend, called my attention to the solstice by inviting me to her annual winter solstice party more than twenty-five years ago. In the midst of the busy-ness of the holiday season, her party was a time to slow down, breathe, and honor the earth, the seasons, and the essential elements while enjoying the company of friends and strangers. My friends thought it was a bit wu-wu but I loved it. Although I’ve moved away, Jacki’s parties are still going strong. 

Since I have no party to attend this year, I will make a Viking Toast which is also an ancient solstice tradition. Here are the elements: 

—Boast of something you are proud of from the past year

—Toast a person you’d like to honor

—Make a promise for the year ahead

I’m going to make these declarations tomorrow. Will you join me?

Affirmation: I honor the Earth by celebrating the Winter Solstice.

Coaching questions: What will you boast about, who will you toast, what promise will you make?  

jack-b-aJj87xsnVQA-unsplash.jpg

Photo by Jack B on Unsplash

Giving Out of Love

by Mershon Niesner

True generosity is an offering; given freely and out of pure love. No strings attached. No expectations. Time and love are the most valuable possessions you can share. Suze Orman, author, financial advisor

’Tis the season of giving. There are “duty gifts” and “love gifts.” We give both. The greatest gifts are those given freely with no attachment. No expectations. As Suze says, true generosity is an offering. I take this to mean offering as in the biblical sense, a sacrifice. 

Humans are inherently insecure creatures. The accumulation of things offers us a sense of security. This is why giving out of love gives us such a feeling of satisfaction and joy. In addition to all those duty gifts you’re buying, consider giving at least one love gift with no strings attached. Spend your money, your time, or use your talents—all are gifts. 

Affirmation: I give out of love.

Coaching questions: What’s the best gift you’ve ever received? What’s the best gift you’ve ever given? What gift of love will you give this season?

clay-banks-nYOG7IsqOzU-unsplash

Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplash

Learn How To Tame Your Gremlin

by Mershon Niesner

If you had a person in your life treating you the way you treat yourself, you would have gotten rid of them a long time ago. Cheri Huber, author of There Is Nothing Wrong with You: Going Beyond Self-Hate

For the December issue of Vanity Fair, the British author Zadie Smith completed a questionnaire which asked: What do you dislike most about your appearance? “I like it all,” replied Smith, 41. “Self-hatred is for younger, prettier women.” I say self-hatred is for none of us! 

Negative self-talk can be destructive not only to ourselves but to our relationships. Here are a few tips to help you tone-down the negative self-talk:

—Name the negative “person” in your head. I call mine the Gremlin. Talk back to the Gremlin, argue with him/her, challenge the Gremlin with the truth.

—Track when your Gremlin is speaking to you. One of the first steps to changing a habit is recognizing when it occurs. Journaling is a helpful way to do this or simply stop and make a mental note of unwarranted negativity.

—Affirm yourself. If your Gremlin is invading your space, affirm yourself. Gremlins hate affirmations because they take away their power. You may not rid yourself of the Gremlin but you can tame him.

Affirmation: I will tame my Gremlin.

Coaching questions: When does your Gremlin use negative self-talk on you? What does he/she say? What will you do the next time this happens to dispel the negative self-talk?

andreas-avgousti-SXhnbNxtNco-unsplash.jpg

Photo by Andreas Avgousti on Unsplash

 

Are You Distracted?

by Mershon Niesner

If we let ourselves, we shall always be waiting for some distraction or other to end before we can really get down to our work. CS Lewis

Occasionally, we all have the experience of being distracted. Perhaps you’re trying to finish a creative project, sort through photos, or plan a vacation and you can’t seem to stay focused and complete what you set out to accomplish. If you’ve had a recent loss or other trauma, staying focused can be doubly difficult. There are many antidotes to this dilemma but today I’m posing just one.

Researchers in the United Kingdom found concentration can be improved after less than ten minutes of strolling through green space. They speculate that it’s the combination of gentle exercise and views of nature. The study found positive effects when the walker traveled through green space but not when the path wound by urban buildings with many pedestrians. No green space near you? Is all of nature covered in ice and snow? Another study found that even looking at pleasant photos of nature can increase both happiness levels and the ability to perform tasks involving creativity and problem solving. 

Affirmation: I can move beyond distraction.

Coaching questions: What distractions do you experience regularly? What’s your antidote? I challenge you to try out the “walking through green space” theory.  

mickey-o-neil-GSzD6vGIWKM-unsplash.jpg

Photo by Mickey O’neil on Unsplash

Remembering Pearl Harbor

by Mershon Niesner

Remember Pearl Harbor, never again. The Pearl Harbor motto.

On the morning of  December 7, 1941 there was a surprise military attack on Pearl Harbor, a U.S. naval base in Hawaii. The battle was the tipping factor that convinced the United States to enter into World War II.

As we come together in remembrance, we celebrate the ultimate triumph of the human spirit. However, no matter the result, war is always brutal and ugly. My dad (shown here in his WWII uniform) hated all war. Besides WWII, he also served in the Korean conflict and spent his civilian career working in a Veterans’ Hospital. He witnessed the human devastation of war everyday. I pray that we learn from our past and embrace the motto–never again.

Affirmation: I remember.

Coaching questions: How do you connect to this day in history? What contribution can you make to “never again?”

IMG_2157

Adjust Your Course By One Percent

by Mershon Niesner

 I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying. Michael Jordan

Although I’ve been using weight machines and handheld weights for over eighteen months, I was recently disappointed when I learned that my bone density had again declined. I was hopping the weight training would move me in the opposite direction. 

I’ve decided to add at least one percent to my training every time I go to the gym. One more push with the weight, one more mile on the bike. James Clear in his book Atomic Habits argues for the power one percent. “If a pilot leaving from LAX adjusts his heading just 3.5 degrees south, his plane will land in Washington, D.C., instead of New York. Such a small change is barely noticeable at takeoff — the nose of the airplane moves just a few feet — but when magnified across the entire United States, passengers end up hundreds of miles from their destination.”

My take-away is that if I make even a tiny change in my workout routine, or any other aspect of my life, I can move myself to a different destination. It’s worth a try. 

Affirmation: I can do a bit more.

Coaching questions: In what area of your life do you need to adjust just one percent? What difference will it make in the long run? Are you willing to give it a try? When will you start?

amarnath-tade-gXs-mwiXrhA-unsplash

Photo by Amarnath Tade on Unsplash

Are You Feeling Lonely?

by Mershon Niesner

The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved. Mother Teresa

Nearly half of Americans report that they sometimes or always feel isolated or left out. But this loneliness epidemic isn’t just happening in America. Experts from many countries are looking at the scientific facts of loneliness and what health implications the emotion carries including heart disease, depression, and Alzheimer’s. 

Michelle H. Lim, scientific chair of the Australian Coalition to End Loneliness, states, “You might meet people and be embedded within families, be married, but you might still feel a sense of disconnection from other people.” Lim sees loneliness as more to do with the quality of the relationships people hold than the quantity of people they’re encountering day to day. “You can have social isolation but not feel lonely, or you can feel lonely and not be socially isolated.”

Hiding our loneliness from each other makes the problem worse. December is a particularly difficult time for those who feel lonely. Be aware of the people around you and notice who might be feeling isolated and lonely. Experiencing a recent loss of a loved one can magnify these feelings. Ending on a positive note, Lim says, “Humans are designed to be kind to each other, and we’re designed to rely on each other and to thrive.”

Affirmation: I strive to be kind and to help others thrive.

Coaching questions: When have you felt lonely? What has caused you to feel this way? If you know someone who is lonely, how will you reach out to them? 

nik-macmillan-umQlbZ4JiDI-unsplash

Photo by Nik MacMillan on Unsplash

Be Like AJ Jacobs

by Mershon Niesner

When trying to go to sleep, instead of counting sheep, try counting things you’re grateful for— in alphabetical order. AJ Jacobs, author

Thanksgiving, a national day of gratitude in the USA, is Thursday. However, I believe every day should be a day for giving thanks and AJ Jacobs, author of Thanks a Thousand, is just the guy to emulate. Jacobs’ book recounts his mission to thank every single person who played a part in making his morning coffee, over 1,000 people. His journey took him from his coffeeshop barista to the Colombian coffee farmer who grew the beans to the guy who designed the lid for his daily brew. Jacobs also thanked the lady from pest control who kept the bugs out of the coffee warehouse. He thought of everyone!

Scientific studies prove that demonstrating gratitude is good for our physical and mental health. Keeping a gratitude journal, for instance, helps patients in their recovery. We humans are naturally negative. Spreading gratitude is a way to make the world a better place. 

Affirmation: I’m grateful.

Coaching questions: Who have you personally thanked today? What difference does it make when someone thanks you? Think of someone who rarely receives appreciation and thank them.

richard-saunders-_e-KrDQ_M8Q-unsplash.jpg

Photo by Richard Saunders on Unsplash