Blog

Remember and Honor

by Mershon Niesner

If we learn nothing else from this tragedy, we learn that life is short and there is no time for hate. Sandy Dahl, wife of Flight 92 pilot, Jason Dahl

Yesterday, in the United States and elsewhere, we remembered the 2,977 people who were killed during the 9/11 coordinated terrorist attacks. The day is now also dedicated to community service which, I propose, we embrace everyday. 

I agree with President Obama who said, “Even the smallest act of service, the simplest act of kindness, is a way to honor those we lost, a way to reclaim that spirit of unity that follows 9/11.”

Affirmation: I remember and honor through service.

Coaching questions: What is one small act of service or kindness you will provide to help reclaim the spirit of unity? How does your service/kindness enrich your life? 

When Nothing Can Be Done About It

by Mershon Niesner

The Japanese phrase, Shikata ga nai, means “it cannot be helped”  or “nothing can be done about it,” a strategy for accepting an undesirable situation and the antidote to worry. It’s a reminder that when the something is beyond your control, you need to mentally move on.

Scientific studies agree that dwelling on negative events may cause depression and other physical symptoms. I know….it’s easier said than done but still an excellent lesson for living a healthier, happier life. 

Affirmation: I move on when a situation is beyond my control.

Coaching questions: What situations/relationships beyond your control are causing you to obsess, worry, or lose sleep? What’s one step you can take to move towards adopting Shikata ga nai?

Discovering the Dragons of Home

by Mershon Niesner

I believe that one carries the shadows, the dreams, the fears and dragons of home under one’s skin, at the extreme corners of one’s eyes, and possibly in the gristle of the ear lobe. Maya Angelou, author, singer, memoirist, and civil rights activist.

Where is home for you? Some say, “home is where the heart is” others consider home wherever their loved ones are. I’m interpreting Angelou’s quote to mean family of origin or childhood home. As we search for our unique selves, we uncover all that originally made us who we are under our skin, at the corners of our eyes, and the gristle of our ear lobs. 

As I write a memoir-like book, I’m daily considering the shadows, dreams, fears, and dragons I carry with me. I’m transported back to small-town-Nebraska and what I consider to be an idyllic childhood. Concurrently, I’m writing a historical fiction book about my great grandparents, early settlers in Nebraska. I’m embracing my past and finding satisfaction even in the shadows.

Affirmation: I embrace my past as I carry it into my present.

Coaching questions: Where is home for you? What do you especially value that you learned from your family or origin? How does it make a difference to you today?

IMG_1488Sledding with friends behind our car in Nebraska – circa 1957 – I’m on left

Nap Time

by Mershon Niesner

Think what a better world it would be if we all, the whole world, had cookies and milk about three o’clock every afternoon and then lay down on our blankets for a nap. Barbara Jordan, American lawyer, educator, politician who was a leader in the Civil Rights Movement.

Three of my youngest grand-girls started Kindergarten this Fall. Remember when Kindergarten was half-a-day and you brought your nap rug so you could have a short snooze to make it through the morning? I wasn’t happy with nap time but if I went back to school today I might be more amenable to the concept. Today, Kindergarten is all day with no naps.

Naps don’t make up for poor quality nighttime sleep but, according to the National Sleep Foundation, a 20-30 minute nap can help improve mood, alertness, and performance. Famous nappers include Winston Churchill, John F. Kennedy, Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison and George W. Bush. 

Affirmation: I stay healthy with good sleep.

Coaching questions: Do you get an adequate amount of sleep? If not, what price do you pay for your sleep deprivation? What’s one thing you will do to improve your sleep?

Sushi Class, Etc.

by Mershon Niesner

This is the day the Lord has made, I will be glad….even when I can’t access the Internet.

My laptop doesn’t like an unsecured network and won’t let me log on so my blogs will be short and sweet this week from my phone.

In 24 hours, I’ve had three Philippine connection experiences….meeting my new friend, Felicity, originally from Manila now from Wales, the book I just finished, Falling Together, and my sushi class instructor (I made all the sushi in photo below).

Is the universe telling me something?

Affirmation: I love new experiences.

Coaching question: What messages have you received recently?

Four Keys to Greater Happiness

by Mershon Niesner

The happiest people in the world have a few characteristics in common: they create strong social networks, have a sense of purpose, are usually generous and have faith. The Blue Zones newsletter

There are two Blue Zones books and studies. One is about the longest-lived people in the world, the other is a study of the happiest. The formula discovered in their extensive research on happy people the world over seems simple…have friends, purpose, a generous spirit, and faith. As we search for happiness in more money to buy more stuff or have more experiences or greater leisure, we may be missing the point. 

We don’t need to re-invent the wheel. Whatever our economic background, age, or circumstance, we can embrace the principles proven to bring us greater happiness. 

Affirmation: I know how to create happiness in my life.

Coaching questions: Do you have friends, purpose, a generous spirit and faith? What element needs to be stronger for you to have greater happiness in your life?

IMG_3986I’m in a happy place with friends.

On Being/Having A Step-Mother

by Mershon Niesner

Step parenting is like working at a late-night convenience store; all the responsibility and none of the authority. Valerie J. Lewis Coleman, author and publisher

I had a step-mother, my children have a step-mother, I am a step-mother. Although maligned in fairy tales, step-mothers frequently step into difficult situations, bringing a semblance of order to the family or provide a lonely husband/father with the companionship he deserves. 

As a step-mother to three adult children and eleven grandchildren who were born before my time, my main contribution has been to keep my opinions to myself. Now there are great-grand babies and the rule still holds. One of the sweetest Mother’s Day cards I’ve ever received was from my step-daughter. I keep a picture of it in my phone. See the card below….it makes my heart sing.

Affirmation: I can be a cool step-mother. 

Coaching questions: If you’re a step-mother, what’s your greatest challenge? To whom can you turn to help you handle your situation? If you had/have an “evil” step-mother, what will it take for you to forgive her (if you need to do it)?

IMG_1234.jpg

Mother Goose Knows Best

by Mershon Niesner

For every ailment under the sun, There is a remedy, or there is non.

If there be one, try to find it, If there be non, Never mind it.

Mother Goose, 1695 

The Serenity Prayer was taken from Mother Goose—who knew? Thanks to the friend who sent this rendition to me. With a second close friend having open heart surgery tomorrow and the recent deaths of two others, I’ve offered this prayer/rhyme frequently. I pray that the surgeon will do his/her best and for the patient’s speedy recovery, of course, but then I let it go.

I often blog about worry and the effects of worry because I’ve noticed that it’s a common malady. I have the opportunity to practice what I preach during the next 10 days as we embark on a cruise at the height of the hurricane season with a house on an island in the Gulf. We are living on the edge a bit but decisions have been made, the weather is going to do what’s it’s going to do, and I’m going to have FUN.

Affirmation: I know worrying is futile.

Coaching questions: What helps you curb your worrying? 

P.S. I will blog during my travels. I’m hoping the Internet is stable.

National Pause Day

by Mershon Niesner

Labor Day was enacted into federal law in 1894. It’s nice to think of the day as a national pause day. As a nation, we are choosing to take a timeout from our busy work life and making a collective effort to have some fun. Dr. Perry, from his blog MakeItUltra 

It’s Labor Day in the United States. If you’re a working person, I hope you’re enjoying a day off. Americans leave 658 million vacation days on the table every year. More than half of American workers (55%) leave vacation time unused. The United States is the only developed country in the world without a single legally required paid vacation day or holiday. By law, every country in the European Union has at least four work weeks of paid vacation.

Research shows that workers who take time off are more productive, mentally alert, healthier, and have greater work satisfaction. 

Affirmation: It’s ok to take time off.

Coaching questions: What’s keeping you from taking vacation days? You may have very legitimate financial reasons for working as much as possible. Do you see value in making a change? Plan your vacation days now…what’s a better day to do it?

Put Your Worries On Pause

by Mershon Niesner

Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength. Corrie ten Boom, Dutch watchmaker and Christian who helped many Jews escape the Nazi Holocaust. Subject of the book and movie, The Hiding Place. 

According to Robert Leahy, PhD, director of The American Institute for Cognitive Therapy, “When we don’t know how something will work out, we worry in order to get certainty.” And yet, studies have found that 85% of things people fretted about had neutral or positive outcomes. 

To calm your anxiety, throw yourself into something you can control or accomplish like laundry or calls to friends or pulling weeds. You’ll feel good in the present due to your accomplishment and, in the meantime, you will have put your worries on pause.

Affirmation: The outcome will be positive.

Coaching questions: If you have an immediate worry, what can you do to push the pause button? Think back to some of the circumstances you’ve worried about in the past. What were the actual outcomes?