One is never alone with a rubber duck. Douglas Adams, English author
According to National Calendar Day, today is National Rubber Ducky Day. Who knew? The Sesame Street calendar, that’s who! Their 1973 calendar says that Rubber Duckie’s birthday is January 13th. A friend of Ernie and Big Bird, Duckie made his debut in a February 1970 episode.
I think a good long bath with a rubber ducky, if you have one, is just the ticket for celebrating this auspicious day of the year. You in??
Affirmation: I will celebrate National Rubber Ducky Day with a smile on my face.
Coaching questions: How does this silliness resonate with you? Did/do you or your kids or grands have a a rubber ducky?
Nothing is so painful to the human mind as a great and sudden change. Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley, author
When my late husband, Keith, literally dropped dead of a heart attack at the age of fifty three, I experienced first hand the “great and sudden change” Shelley is talking about. Tomorrow, however, my experience of change will be the happy kind and less sudden as we move from our home on Marco Island to a condo just over the bridge.
This year, we’ll all experience change–hopefully not great and sudden but one never knows. Basic self-care practices—good sleep, healthy food, exercise, taking breaks— can help you navigate change more smoothly. “Start making small changes when you’re not stressed,” says psychiatrist Henry Emmons, MD, author of The Chemistry of Calm. “Think of it like exercise. If you’re trying to get in shape, you don’t try to do a month’s worth of workout in one day.”
The same is true when training yourself to deal with the stress response. The more you learn how to calm your mind when your stress is small, the better prepared you will be for the big change that will inevitably come your way.
Affirmation: I am ready for this change in my life (I think).
Coaching questions: Consider how well you handle change. What will you do to prepare yourself now to handle change more effectively in the future? What difference might it make?
The idea of potential is seductive because you never have to leave that fantasy. Âyodeji Awosika, author
“Someday I’ll figure out what I really want to do when I grow up,” says the sixty year old banker, the seventy-five year old grandmother, the twenty year old college graduate, the thirty year old attorney. The truth is, you probably know what you want to do, who you want to be, you’re just afraid to go there. You say to yourself, “I might fail, what will other people think, I will disappoint my parents, it will be too much work, I’m too old, I’m too young.”
It’s a new year, a new start, time to unravel the layers of judgment, rationalization, fear, and insecurity that are holding you back. Grab hold of your dream, your wish, your greatest desire and take a step to make it reality. Someday may never come but today is here. Have the courage to live how you want to live and be who you want to be.
Affirmation: I am courageous.
Coaching questions: What do you want to be “when you grow up?” What’s keeping you from going there? What step will you take today to move forward?
Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. Marcel Proust, French novelist
This year, January tenth to be exact, we’re moving from a house on Marco Island to a condominium in Naples, Florida. With the condo offering shared space such as a gym, pool, party room, and social programs, I’m looking forward to cultivating new friendships.
Friends are VERY important to me. I’m not sure if this is because I was motherless at eight or because I’m an only child. Either way, for as long as I can remember, I’ve treasured and sought out friends in my life. I recently read that an eighty-year study at Harvard University scientifically found that one predictor of happiness is developing warmer relationships. Perhaps I’ve been on to something all along.
If you’re a motherless daughter or a recent widow, I believe friendships are especially critical to your well-being. Friends help promote self-confidence as well as a sense of purpose and belonging—say nothing of bringing us joy and helping our souls to bloom.
Affirmation: I will endeavor to act with compassion and without expectation as I nurture my precious friendships and foster new relationships.
Coaching questions: What do friendships mean to you? How to you meet new friends and nurture current relationships? Do you want to do more?
Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment. Jim Rohn, American entrepreneur
One of my accomplishments in 2022 was meeting my goal of publishing a second book, a historical fiction inspired by the life of my great grandparents who were Nebraska pioneers.
I wrote the first draft during Covid isolation, spending many enjoyable afternoons on the Nebraska prairie in 1875. Not much discipline needed at this stage and virtually no distractions. Because of Covid, I had to delay my trip to the Sand Hills, the location of most of the book, until the summer of 2021. Spending time in the space was wonderful inspiration (I even stood in a real sod house).
The real discipline began with the rewrite. This is where the rubber meets the road and an author has to doggedly go back line after line, chapter after chapter and bring the manuscript to life. Then there’s the phase where I had to make sure there were no spelling or grammatical errors. Every book is a labor of love backed by discipline.
Affirmation: I will embrace the discipline in order to achieve my goals.
Coaching questions: What are your goals for 2023? What would you like to accomplish by the end of next year? What discipline will it take to achieve your goal? Is it worth it?
Photo taken by the author in the approximate location of the novel.
May the light illuminate your hearts and shine in your life every day of the year. May everlasting peace be yours and upon our Earth. Eileen Anglin, author
Today is the day when one of the Earth’s poles has its maximum tilt away from the sun. It is the day with the least sunlight and marks the beginning of winter in the Northern Hemisphere. For thousands of years, people have celebrated the solstice.
Tonight, I’ll make a Viking Toast which is also an ancient solstice tradition. Here are the elements:
—Boast of something you are proud of from the past year (Publishing my book, The Bootmaker’s Wife, TODAY)
—Toast a person you’d like to honor (Volodymyr Zelenskyy for his determination in the face of war)
—Make a promise for the year ahead (To fully embrace my new home)
Affirmation: I honor the Earth by celebrating the Winter Solstice.
Coaching questions: What will you boast about, who will you toast, what promise will you make?
True generosity is an offering; given freely and out of pure love. No strings attached. No expectations. Time and love are the most valuable possessions you can share. Suze Orman, author, financial advisor
’Tis the season of giving. There are “duty gifts” and “love gifts.” We give both. The greatest gifts are those given freely with no attachment. No expectations. As Suze says,”True generosity is an offering.” I take this to mean offering as in the biblical sense, a sacrifice.
Humans are inherently insecure creatures. The accumulation of things offers us a sense of security. This is why giving out of love gives us such a feeling of satisfaction and joy. In addition to all those duty gifts you’re buying, consider giving at least one love gift with no strings attached. Spend your money, your time, or use your talents—all are gifts.
Affirmation: I give out of love.
Coaching questions: What’s the best gift you’ve ever received? What’s the best gift you’ve ever given? What gift of love will you give this season?
When you forgive, you free your soul. But when you say I’m sorry, you free two souls. Donald L. Hicks, author
When families gather for the holidays, misunderstandings and angry words often mar the joy. If someone you care about tramples on your feelings, here are a couple of tips to help you elicit an apology or move on.
—Sometimes a rupture is caused by miscommunication or misunderstandings that can be clarified. Ask for clarity.
—Consider writing a letter expressing your feelings about what she/he said. Perhaps this person is unaware of the pain she caused you. In the letter tell her what you would like to hear in the way of an apology and what she can do to make amends. Everyone has their own “apology language” and it’s helpful to let others know what works for you.
—If the offensive words or action were completely out of the ordinary, you might consider this a one time lapse and wipe the slate clean.
—Try viewing the unkindness as a mystery. Ask yourself, “I wonder what was going on in this person’s life that temporarily derailed her?” As you do this, consider this story—A commuter was enraged when a woman in an SUV stopped abruptly to get something in the back seat, almost causing an accident. He didn’t know the driver’s infant was choking.
—Wonder if this person can’t apologize because she has such deep feelings of low self-worth that her fragile ego can’t absorb the blow of admitting she was wrong. If you suspect this is true, tap into your empathy and compassion. Remind yourself that beneath her stubborn exterior, she’s incredibly vulnerable.
I’m sure some of these suggestions won’t resonate with your particular situation but, as a Life Coach, we’re trained to help you “throw spaghetti against a wall and see what sticks.” Yep, I actually heard that phrase in my coach training and it has been a useful tool in helping clients solve problems.
Affirmation: I will metaphorically throw spaghetti and get to the bottom of my angry feelings and quest for an apology.
Coaching questions: If you’re looking for an apology and haven’t received it, what tip will you use to help you find closure? What’s your apology language? What do you want to hear and how do you express regret?
Remember Pearl Harbor, never again. The Pearl Harbor motto.
LEST WE FORGET—On the morning of December 7, 1941 there was a surprise military attack on Pearl Harbor, a U.S. naval base in Hawaii. The battle was the tipping factor that convinced the United States to enter into World War II.
As we remember this event, we celebrate the ultimate triumph of the human spirit. However, no matter the result, war is always brutal and ugly. It’s estimated that 50 MILLION people died in the war worldwide. My dad, who served in both WWII and the Korean conflict, hated all war. He spent his civilian career working in a Veterans’ Hospital and witnessed the ongoing human devastation of war everyday.
I pray that as we honor those who lost their lives defending our freedom, we learn from our past. If only the motto were true—never again.
Affirmation: I remember.
Coaching questions: How do you connect to this day in history? What contribution can you make to “never again?”
It is better to learn early of the inevitable depths, for then sorrow and death can take their proper place in time, and one is not afraid. Pearl S. Buck, author
As the author of a book about loss, I’m a member of several on-line groups for folks who have experienced loss. It seems that many of these participants are completely surprised by the fact that someone died; that they are now orphans, or their elderly (or not so elderly) parent or other close relative has died. Many say they don’t want to continue living without this person in their life.
Perhaps it’s time for someone to say, “Death is inevitable!” Hopefully, you believe in some kind of after life (Heaven works for me), but life as you and I know it on this planet will end—even your mother’s and father’s. In fact, parents hope their children outlive them.
So, if you’re reading this blog because you have recently experienced loss, I empathize with your pain. But know that you’re not alone. If we live long enough, we ALL experience loss. In fact, it speaks to the fact that we are blessed with life.
Affirmation: I have come to terms with the fact that death is inevitable.
Coaching questions: How can you incorporate this universal, if painful, truth into your life? How will it help you be less afraid (as Buck suggests)?
Life after losing a mother 