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Celebrating Pride Month

by Mershon Niesner

It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. E. E. Cummings, American poet, painter, essayist, author, and playwright

June is Pride Month, a time to celebrate how far the LGBTQ community has come and an opportunity to remind us of the work that must be continued in order to achieve true equality for all. 

Language around inclusion can be confusing. A good way to look at it is gender inclusion is a concept that transcends mere equality. It’s the notion that all services, opportunities, and establishments are open to all people and that male and female stereotypes don’t define societal roles and expectations. 

Affirmation: I support those who have the courage to grow up and become who they really are. 

Coaching questions: In what ways do you support the LGBTQ community and individuals who identify as gay or lesbian? 

What Keeps You Motivated/Or Not?

by Mershon Niesner

Objects in motion stay in motion. Isaac Newton, physicist, mathematician

Motivation frequently feels elusive. We’re motivated one day, the next day not so much. If you’re in a down cycle, here are a few tips to help you get motivated.

— Look inside. Consider what motivated you in the past, what brings you joy, what speaks to your values.

—Start with the details. Be specific about what you want to achieve. Set concrete, measurable goals. Read a book a week, walk a mile a day, plan and cook four nutritious meals a week, clean out three cupboards. 

—Just do it! Get up and move. Do something to change your energy. When I sit too long and become lethargic, I get up and do a 20 minute yoga video or put together a chicken salad. 

—Take small steps. Focus on first things first. If I considered all the steps it takes to publish a book, I’d never start. Instead, I start by writing a sentence which turns into a paragraph which turns into a chapter. Don’t overwhelm yourself.

—Search for flow. Once you find something that makes your heart sing, something that causes you to lose track of time, and you’re “in the flow,”  motivation will cease to be a problem.

—Focus on what matters. When we make an effort to expand ourselves whether it’s through cooking a new recipe, reading an interesting book, nurturing a garden or a child, we find ourselves in a state of growth. 

When you’re growing, learning, expanding, you’ll not only be motivated, you’ll be fulfilled.

Coaching questions: What do you do to get or stay motivated? Consider what de-motivates you.

Photo by Peter Aroner on Unsplash

The Flower of Mother’s Day

by Mershon Niesner

Symbols are the imaginative signposts of life. Margot Asquith, author

Pink carnations have always been special to me because they were the flowers on my mother’s casket and one of the few memories I have of the months following her death seventy years ago.

 I thought they were randomly chosen by my dad but, perhaps, he chose them for their meaning. “Light pink carnations represent love and gratitude that are similar to a Mother.” They also say, “I’ll never forget you.”

In America, they are the official Mother’s Day flower. 

Affirmation: I honor the symbols in my life.

Coaching questions: What symbols do you hold dear? What do they mean to you and why? How do they help you keep your memories alive?

Photo by Sixteen Miles Out on Unsplash

Volunteers Are Priceless!

by Mershon Niesner

Volunteers don’t get paid, not because they’re worthless, but because they’re priceless. Sherry Anderson, author

April is National Volunteer Month and this week is National Volunteer Week. This began as a celebration to honor the contribution women made on the home front during World War II.

Living in an area populated by many retirees, I see volunteerism at it’s best. Tutoring, public pantry workers, meals to people struggling with illness, beach cleanup, fundraisers for scholarships and other worthy causes, etc. 

Of course, volunteerism isn’t just for retirees. I begin volunteering as a candy striper in a veterans’ hospital when I was fourteen. As our quote says, volunteers are priceless at any age. Where would our world be without them?

Affirmation: I honor volunteers.

Coaching questions: How have you found meaning in volunteering? What’s something you can do this week to make a difference in the life of another? 

How Busy Is Too Busy?

by Mershon Niesner

Beware the barrenness of a busy life. Socrates, philosopher

It seems that “busyness” is a badge of honor these days. Many of our ancestors worked from sunup to sundown in order to survive. I’m not talking about that kind of busy. I’m talking about a self-imposed schedule of running from one activity, meeting, appointment to the next—sometimes overlapping. 

At times, I own this. My well-intentioned balanced life gets out of whack and I become one of those people who leaves early to go to the next thing. However, I do embrace what Jodi Clarke, MA, LPC/MHSP says about busyness.

“Remember self-worth does not come from being busy. Come up with a mantra that expresses what self-worth truly means to you or reasons for self-love.” 

As I’ve often written in this blog, it’s okay to say “no.” Clarke expands on this, “Sacrificing our well-being to overextend ourselves can have severe consequences in the long term.” 

Affirmation: I am a worthwhile person.

Coaching questions: What does your schedule look like? If you’re running yourself ragged through self-imposed activities, how can you get back in balance? What will it feel like to have a day (or more) with nothing that “must” be done?

Do You Believe In Luck?

by Mershon Niesner

Luck is believing you’re lucky. Tennessee Williams, American playwright

Happy Saint Patrick’s Day tomorrow! If you live in the U.S. or Ireland, chances are you’ll be celebrating by wearing green, drinking green beer, marching in a parade or eating corned beef and cabbage.

The patron saint of Ireland, St. Patrick was born in Roman Britain in the late 4th century. When he was sixteen, we was kidnapped and taken to Ireland as a slave. He escaped but returned around 432 A.D. to convert the Irish to Christianity. 

Affirmation: I believe I’m lucky.

Coaching question: How do you celebrate St. Patrick’s Day?

I Raise My Voice! Celebrating Women’s History Month

by Mershon Niesner

I raise my voice—not so I can shout, but so that those without a voice can be heard. Malala Yousafzai,  education activist and youngest Nobel Peace Prize laureate

March is National Women’s History Month. The 2024 theme is “Women Who Advocate for Equity, Diversity and Inclusion.” 

The theme recognizes women throughout the country who understand that, for a positive future, we need to eliminate bias and discrimination entirely from our lives and institutions.

The National Women’s History Alliance writes, “It takes courage for women to advocate for practical goals like equity, diversity and inclusion when established forces aim to misinterpret, exploit or discredit them. Throughout 2024, we honor local women from the past and present who have taken the lead to show the importance of change and to establish firmer safeguards, practices and legislation reflecting these values. Following decades of discrimination, we are proud to celebrate women who work for basic inclusion, equality and fairness.”

Amen to that!

Affirmation: I will raise my voice and do what I can to make a difference.

Coaching question: What’s one thing you will do this month to advocate for equality, diversity, and inclusion? 

Getting Back On Track

by Mershon Niesner

A goal without a plan is just a wish.

I don’t know about you, but I need to get back on track with the goals I set for 2024. I’m going to try Daniel’s method to help me.

Daniel Sjöstedt, a mental trainer who runs the popular Swedish podcast Monkey Mindset, describes The 3-3-3 Method. It works like this: 

  • Every quarter, you set three goals that you want to achieve in the three months ahead.
  • Each week, you define the three objectives that will have the most impact on your quarterly goals.
  • Every day, you choose the three tasks that will help you make the most progress toward your weekly objectives.

Daniel may be referring to business objectives but I think the concept will work well for any type of goals including those that are health related.

Affirmation: I have the power to do what I set my mind to.

Coaching question: What do you need to do to get back on track?

Photo by bruce mars on Unsplash

What Are You Reading?

by Mershon Niesner

In the case of good books, the point is not to see how many you can get through, but rather how many can get through to you. Mortimer J. Adler, American philosopher and educator

In some “book” groups I participate in on Facebook, there seems to be competition around how many books people have read. I read a fair amount of books each year but I have no goals—I simply read what I read. Some books are short and a fast-read, like The Bucket List by Rachael Hannah, a charming story of a woman finding her way, or long and complex like The Covenant of Water by Abraham Verghese, a family saga taking place in India. 

Some are non-fiction like The In-Between by Hadley Vlahos, R.N., a book about the unforgettable encounters during life’s final moments, or The Wager by David Grann, a story of shipwreck, mutiny, and murder.

I don’t consume all of this “main course” reading without “dessert books” like Janet Evanovitch’s twenty-book series featuring Stephanie Plum, bail bonds person (I listen to these) or Someone Else’s Shoes by Jojo Moyes, a fun read full of interesting characters. 

Affirmation: I read!

Coaching ideas: If you don’t have time to sit down with a book or electronic device, consider audio books—a great resource for busy people. If you want to be challenged to read outside your comfort zone and try new genres and authors, consider joining a book club. If money is a consideration, get your books at the local library. Happy reading!

Change–It’s Coming Whether You’re Ready or Not!

by Mershon Niesner

Nothing is so painful to the human mind as a great and sudden change. Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley, author

When my late husband, Keith Bell, literally dropped dead of a heart attack at the age of fifty three, I experienced first hand the “great and sudden change” Shelley is talking about. In 2024, we’ll all experience change. I certainly hope it won’t be great or sudden (unless the change event is something really good) but you never know.

Psychiatrist Henry Emmons, MD, author of The Chemistry of Calm, writes, “Start making small changes when you’re not stressed. Think of it like exercise. If you’re trying to get in shape, you don’t try to do a month’s worth of workout in one day.”

The same is true when training yourself to deal with stress. If you earn how to calm your mind when your stress is small, the better prepared you’ll be for the big changes that are inevitably coming your way. 

Affirmation: I’m prepared for change.

Coaching questions: What big change have you handled in the past? How well do you handle change? What can you do now that will help you better handle change in the future?

Photo by Thomas de LUZE on Unsplash