Blog

Another Way to Combat Depression and Loneliness

by Mershon Niesner

Those who wish to sing always find a song. Swedish proverb

I recently began singing in a church choir again. The new music director needed singers and I joined to support the program. Now, a few months later, I find myself participating out of joy rather than obligation. In addition, I have made new friends, renewed my appreciation of music, and found satisfaction in enhancing community worship. 

I’m not alone. Studies show that choral singing improves our mood with a decrease in stress, depression, and anxiety. Perhaps it is the combination of deep breathing, a group setting, and the experience of joining with others to create something of beauty. Singing in a group can be especially helpful to your well- being if you’ve recently experienced a significant loss in your life.

Affirmation: I enjoy singing in the choir.

Coaching question: What makes your heart “sing?” 

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Photo by David Beale on Unsplash

What Will Help You Increase Your Joy Quotient?

by Mershon Niesner

Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy. Thich Nhat Hanh, spiritual leader

A faith group I’m in, Girl Talk God Talk, is consciously searching for, acknowledging, sharing, and showing gratitude for the joy in their lives this year. We often take joy for granted or ignore it altogether when we are not conscious of its presence in our daily lives. On the other hand, joy can elude us as during certain seasons of our lives. 

Sometimes we must create joy, other times we need only recognize the joy in us. I think this is what Hanh meant when he wrote about joy. Abraham Lincoln said, “Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Choose joy and/or let it choose you—then say, “Thank you.”

Affirmation: I choose joy.

Coaching questions: Is there joy in your life everyday? If not, what can you do to raise your joy quotient? What’s one thing you can do, say, or think that will bring you joy (and a smile to your face) today?

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Photo by Cristian Newman on Unsplash

Sharing The Joy of Reading

by Mershon Niesner

A good book is an event in my life. Stendhal, French writer

One of the my favorite pastimes is reading. Through the writing of the sixty-four authors I read in 2019, I had the pleasure of learning, traveling, empathizing, smiling, crying, and meeting new people. Here are a few of my favorite books. 

Great fiction for book clubs: Where the Crawdads Sing, The Winter Soldier, Educated, The Tattooist of Auschwitz, The Book Woman of Troublesome Creek

Outstanding non-fiction: Becoming – Michele Obama, The Moment of Lift – Melinda Gates, The Education of an Idealist – Samantha Power

Newbury Award winning book for youth – A Book About a Boy

More fiction: The Sound of Glass, The Lost Girls of Paris, City Girls, Woman In Cabin 10, The Truth According to Us, The Last Mrs. Parrish

Affirmation: Books open up the world to me.

Coaching  request: If you’re not a reader, I challenge you to read a book just for fun this month. Let me know how it goes. 

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Photo by Suad Kamardeen on Unsplash

What Symbol Will Remind You To Be True To Yourself in 2020?

by Mershon Niesner

Dragonflies are reminders that we are light and we can reflect light in powerful ways if we choose to do so. Robyn Nola, artist

In nearly every corner of the world, the dragonfly symbolizes change, transformation, adaptability, and self-realization. The iridescence of its wings and body is associated with one’s ability to unmask the real self and embrace true identity.

Discovering and embracing who we are is an integral aspect of our maturity. A friend of mine who is facing the challenge of addiction recovery has a dragonfly tattoo on her arm as a symbol of her transformation. To her, the dragonfly stands for hope, change, and love. It is a symbol that reminds her to embrace change and strive to be true to herself.

Affirmation: I am true to myself. 

Coaching questions: In what ways have you changed and become more of your true self this past year? What symbol would you use to prompt you to reflect light and embrace self-realization? 

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Feeling A Little Broken This New Year?

by Mershon Niesner

We’re all a little broken but the last time I checked, broken crayons still color. Trent Shelton, former football player

Perhaps life knocked you around last year and you feel a bit broken—physically, emotionally, and/or spiritually. You’re not alone. If we live long enough, we all experience pain, loss, regret, grief, fear. It’s part of the human experience.

But, as Shelton says, even broken, we have the potential to fulfill our destiny. In the case of a crayon, that destiny is to put color on paper. What’s yours? What step will you take to be who you want to be in 2020?

Affirmation: I can make a difference.

Coaching request: Even if you’ve been battered and broken, you can still make a difference. Get out there in 2020 and put some color on the paper of your life.

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Photo by Gaelle Marcel on Unsplash

Embracing Endings

by Mershon Niesner

I like to compare the holiday season with the way a child listens to a favorite story. The pleasure is in the familiar way the story begins, the anticipation of familiar turns it takes, the familiar moments of suspense, and the familiar climax and ending. Fred Rogers

I know New Year’s Eve is on the horizon but, for me, the excitement of the holiday season is mostly over. Tomorrow we will head back to Florida to re-enter our life there. I’ve loved the familiar story of our holiday season as we now know it. My addition of a Unicorn Tea and Cookie Decorating Party was great fun and Christmas Eve (my favorite night of the year) was perfect (see photo below). We spent time with adult kids, grands, great-grands and, as they say, “A good time was had by all.” 

Endings are bitter sweet. Although I’ll miss our family in the coming months, I’m ready to return to our beautiful home, warm weather, Florida friends, and the activities I enjoy. 

Affirmation: I embrace the bitter sweetness of endings.

Coaching questions: What is the story of your holiday season? How are you embracing the familiar ending?

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Wishing You Peace, Love, and Comfort

by Mershon Niesner

What is Christmas? It is tenderness for the past, courage for the present, hope for the future. It is a fervent wish that every cup may overflow with blessings rich and eternal, and that every path may lead to peace. Agnes M. Pharo, author

On this Christmas morning, I truly hope that someday every path will lead to peace. For Christians the world over, today has significance beyond the gifts and glitter. The story of Jesus’ birth is about love—God’s love for His creation.

Although it is a sad, even heart-breaking, day for many, I hope, Dear Readers, you will find a slice of love and joy in your life today. Please know that if you’re grieving, sad, or lonely— I’m thinking of you and I’m wishing you a Very Blessed Christmas!

Affirmation: Someone cares about me.

Coaching questions: What will you do to acknowledge your sadness while celebrating joy to the world? This is one day out of 365. What will tomorrow be like?

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Honor the White Space In Your Life

by Mershon Niesner

It’s about the white spaces between the paragraphs, which I think are more important than any of the text. It allows you to think about what’s just been said. Fred Rogers, American television personality and much, much more

As a Life Coach, I was trained to recognize and encourage the white spaces, times when a question is asked and there is a long pause. I learned to be still, let the responder think, and perhaps get uncomfortable with the silence. The same is true with the written word. Without paragraphs or chapter breaks the magnitude of words would overwhelm us. 

I’ve designed the affirmation and coaching questions in this blog to serve as white space. Say the affirmation aloud, sit with it a moment. As you read the coaching questions, be still and see what resonates. Being quiet is an important aspect of mental health and personal growth. Allow your body, soul, mind, and God to speak to you. Be still and listen.

Affirmation: I honor the white spaces.

Coaching question/request: How do you view the white spaces in your life? Take a moment to be still.

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Photo by Dominik Dombrowski on Unsplash

Celebrating With a Viking Toast

by Mershon Niesner

Stonehenge is perfectly aligned to the sunset on winter solstice, as is Newgrange in Ireland. From Saturnalia in ancient Rome, to Yalda night in Iran, to a party in Illinois, groups gather to celebrate the passing of the longest night.

Tomorrow is winter solstice, the day when one of the Earth’s poles has its maximum tilt away from the sun. It is the day with the least sunlight and marks the beginning of winter in the Northern Hemisphere. For thousands of years, people have celebrated the solstice. 

Jacqui, a long-time friend, called my attention to the solstice by inviting me to her annual winter solstice party more than twenty-five years ago. In the midst of the busy-ness of the holiday season, her party was a time to slow down, breathe, and honor the earth, the seasons, and the essential elements while enjoying the company of friends and strangers. My friends thought it was a bit wu-wu but I loved it. Although I’ve moved away, Jacki’s parties are still going strong. 

Since I have no party to attend this year, I will make a Viking Toast which is also an ancient solstice tradition. Here are the elements: 

—Boast of something you are proud of from the past year

—Toast a person you’d like to honor

—Make a promise for the year ahead

I’m going to make these declarations tomorrow. Will you join me?

Affirmation: I honor the Earth by celebrating the Winter Solstice.

Coaching questions: What will you boast about, who will you toast, what promise will you make?  

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Photo by Jack B on Unsplash

Giving Out of Love

by Mershon Niesner

True generosity is an offering; given freely and out of pure love. No strings attached. No expectations. Time and love are the most valuable possessions you can share. Suze Orman, author, financial advisor

’Tis the season of giving. There are “duty gifts” and “love gifts.” We give both. The greatest gifts are those given freely with no attachment. No expectations. As Suze says, true generosity is an offering. I take this to mean offering as in the biblical sense, a sacrifice. 

Humans are inherently insecure creatures. The accumulation of things offers us a sense of security. This is why giving out of love gives us such a feeling of satisfaction and joy. In addition to all those duty gifts you’re buying, consider giving at least one love gift with no strings attached. Spend your money, your time, or use your talents—all are gifts. 

Affirmation: I give out of love.

Coaching questions: What’s the best gift you’ve ever received? What’s the best gift you’ve ever given? What gift of love will you give this season?

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Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplash