Tag: coaching questions

Have You Been Streaking Lately?

by Mershon Niesner

Success isn’t about greatness; it’s about consistency. Consistent hard work leads to success. Greatness will come. Dwayne Johnson, American actor and professional wrestler. 

It’s summer, a time for enjoying the out-of-doors, vacations, and relaxing. But we still want to get things done and to do that we need to STREAK.

Not dashing onto the football field naked but maintaining a steady progress toward what we want to accomplish. 

Whether we call the activity a streak or a practice, a ritual or a ceremony, it’s serving a similar purpose: adding structure, purpose, predictability, meaning to our days.

Bursts of effort may work for the short term but as Johnson suggests, steady streaks of activity will lead to success.

Affirmation: I will put a practice in place to accomplish my goals.

Coaching question: What goal do you have that you want to sustain steady progress or produce a streak of activity to accomplish? 

Photo by Joel Timothy on Unsplash

You Have The Power! Help For The Holidays

by Mershon Niesner

Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect.

Whether you’re celebrating Christmas, Hanukkah or other traditions, there’s no doubt that a busy and hectic season is on the horizon. Here are a few tips to help you to get off the treadmill and enjoy this time of year. 

Create a vision. Some folks thrive on the craziness of the season. Others…not so much. Visualize what a meaningful and realistic holiday season looks like for you.  

Decide what’s really important. To help you realize your vision, consider what’s really important in order for you and your family to celebrate this special time. (See coaching questions)

Consider how you feel about making changes. How do you feel when you honestly consider change—relieved,  guilty, desperate, selfish, sad? If there are things you think you “have to do” in order to make those around you happy, ask THEM how important it is before you assume the answer. Having the time and energy to spend quality time with the people you love may be the greatest gift.

You have the power. Affirm that you have the power to be present during the holidays and to enjoy the special occasions and people. Rather than being swept up in the craziness, create a vision, make decisions, ask and don’t assume, then have the best holidays ever!

    Affirmation: I will be proactive and enjoy the upcoming season!

    Coaching questions: In the age of social media, are cards still viable? Do the kids/grands really need more stuff or would lessons, events, or other non-tangibles be more meaningful? How much is enough when it comes to decorating? How many cookies do you really need to bake? If you’ve recently experienced a loss, how will you take care of yourself during this season? To whom will you confide if you need help? 

    Photo by Karsten Winegeart on Unsplash

    Take Time To Check-In With Yourself

    by Mershon Niesner

    Don’t be afraid of death; be afraid of an un-lived life. Natalie Babbitt, American writer and illustrator

    Generally people take stock of their lives at the beginning of the year but, since I have time on my hands as I recover from hip surgery, I’m doing a fall check-in. Why, you ask? Because after a summer and fall of languishing in an environment focused mainly on myself, I want to examine ways I can make a difference in the future. 

    First, I listed all the organizations I belong to and my responsibilities in each. I also listed other things I do on a regular basis—write, exercise, etc. I considered which activities I want to continue, then I wondered if anything new needs to be added. I don’t know the answers yet but I’m feeling good about the process.

    Affirmation: Checking in with myself is a good thing from time to time.

    Coaching questions: Are you living your best life? Accomplishing what you want to accomplish? Making a difference? Have purpose? If not, or if you’re uncertain, consider taking an inventory of how you spend your days, months, years.  

    It’s About the White Spaces

    by Mershon Niesner

    It’s about the white spaces between the paragraphs, which I think are more important than any of the text. It allows you to think about what’s just been said. Fred Rogers, American television personality and much, much more

    As a Life Coach, I was trained to recognize and encourage the white spaces during coaching sessions. The times when a question is asked and there is a long pause. I learned to be still, let the responder think, and perhaps become uncomfortable with the silence. The same is true in writing. Without paragraphs or chapters breaks the magnitude of words would overwhelm us. It’s about the white space.

    I’ve designed the affirmation and coaching questions in this blog to add white space. Say the affirmation aloud, sit with it a moment. Consider the coaching questions. Do they apply to you? Read them and be still to see what resonates. Being quiet is an important aspect of mental health and personal growth. Allow your body, soul, mind, and God to speak to you. Be still and listen.

    Affirmation: I honor the stillness.

    Coaching question/request: How do you view the white spaces in your life? Take a moment right now and be still. 

    Just Say No

    by Mershon Niesner

    When you say yes to others, make sure you are not saying no to yourself. Paulo Coelho, Brazilian lyricist and novelist. 

    One of the important lessons I taught my clients when I was their Life Coach was how to say, “no.” So much of the stress, anger, and anguish of our lives comes from our inability, particularly as women, to say no to the requests made of us that we know will put us over the top or are requests to do something we don’t want to do. Having a list of no-phrases can be helpful. Here you go:

    I’d love to but I’m just not able to right now—Thanks, but my schedule is full— I know you need help with that project but I just can’t fit it in right now—Maybe another time—Thanks for thinking of me.

    If these lovely responses fail, and the assailant won’t give up, sometimes you just have to say, “Is there something you don’t understand about my answer?” Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that but hold your ground. Your sanity and the possibility of living a tranquil, or at least not insane, life depends on it. You’re worth it. 

    Affirmation: I can say no.

    Coaching questions: What is your response to a request to which you don’t want to comply? Is it working? If not, practice saying no then the next time you need to be strong you’ll be prepared. 

     

     

    When Nothing Can Be Done About It

    by Mershon Niesner

    The Japanese phrase, Shikata ga nai, means “it cannot be helped”  or “nothing can be done about it,” a strategy for accepting an undesirable situation and the antidote to worry. It’s a reminder that when the something is beyond your control, you need to mentally move on.

    Scientific studies agree that dwelling on negative events may cause depression and other physical symptoms. I know….it’s easier said than done but still an excellent lesson for living a healthier, happier life. 

    Affirmation: I move on when a situation is beyond my control.

    Coaching questions: What situations/relationships beyond your control are causing you to obsess, worry, or lose sleep? What’s one step you can take to move towards adopting Shikata ga nai?

    Pen To Paper

    by Mershon Niesner

    What a lot we lost when we stopped writing letters (cards). You can’t reread a phone call (email/text). Liz Carpenter, writer, reporter, feminist

    I’m one of those old fashioned people who still sends cards that require stamps. Judy, my creative friend, makes and sells custom-made cards. I send her a list of names each quarter and she mails me the beautiful, cards like those in the photo below.

    Like Ms. Carpenter, I do like to reread, and occasionally save, special cards. I appreciate the time it takes to buy, address, stamp, and mail a card. The gift is in the effort every bit as much as it is in the message. Sympathy cards seem most important. In the midst of grief, calls are often forgotten (although they are important too), but cards can be treasured months later when the fog has lifted.

    Affirmation: I have time to lick (or peel) a stamp.

    Coaching questions: Have you ever received a card that you’ve saved or remembered? What was significant about it? Is there someone you’d like to honor with a card or letter today? Do it!

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    Let’s Get Happy

    by Mershon Niesner

    I’ve been claiming happiness for a long time, dreaming big dreams and using the outcomes of those dreams to bring beauty into my own life and to serve others. Oprah

    People want to be happy but when asked what makes them happy, some folks dither and aren’t sure. As Dr. Phil says, “You’ve gotta name it to claim it.” Like Oprah, making a difference in the lives of others has always brought me true joy. To me happiness is more of an “in the moment” sort of thing.

    Puppies and babies make my daughter, Katie, happy. Watching the birds from her kitchen window makes my friend, Nanc, happy. Blooms on my mini gardenia, sparkling water on Barfield Bay as seen from my upstairs porch first thing in the morning, angel hair pasta with homemade marinara, spotting a baby burrowing owl, a really good book, a hearty laugh with precious friends…. all this and so much more causes me to feel happy. What about you??

    Affirmation: I claim happiness.

    Coaching questions: List five things that make you happy. If you’re not feeling happy, what can you do to change your mood? How important is it to you to be happy?