Tag: goals

Top Ten Ways To Increase the Joy-Factor In Your Life

by Mershon Niesner

Most of us know that the joy-factor is not increased by accumulating money or possessions beyond our needs. So where do we find joy? What experiences, thoughts, and relationships help us live more joyfully?

Here are my top ten:

1. Set goals and complete them. There is something satisfying, if not joy-producing, in crossing a task off  a list or completing a goal. We are programmed towards accomplishment and we’re frequently frustrated with procrastination, indecision, and lost dreams. Create a tool to measure your progress in order to appreciate the satisfaction and joy of completion.

2. Add music to your life. It’s difficult to hold on to a frown when enveloped by a rollicking Irish jig or a symphony orchestra. Listening to music elicits joy. Participation by singing, dancing, or playing an instrument heightens the experience. 

3. Make something. The click, click of knitting needles, the hum of a sewing machine, the pounding of a nail, the aroma of fresh bread all help us connect to joy. Not only the act of creating a product but being proud of the end result add to our positive feelings.

4. Grow something. Like creating a product; growing a tree, a garden, or an African violet, can bring ongoing satisfaction. Nurturing a growing thing, spending time in nature, admiring the beauty of a plant, all contribute to the joy factor. 

5. Give freely. When you give your time, your talents, and/or your money, you’ll give yourself a shot of joy. There is something powerful about giving freely.  

6. Get physical. Move your body. Talk a walk, go for a run, have great sex, row a boat, paint your bathroom. There is strong scientific evidence that significant physical movement activates endorphins that make us feel more joyful. 

7. Add color. Feeling low? Take off that black dress and put on something colorful. In addition to your clothing, add color to your surroundings with fresh flowers, beautiful art, or a vibrant throw pillow. 

8. Connect with friends. Friendship is one of our greatest gifts. Spending time with friends nearly always makes us more joyful. Call an old friend you haven’t spoken to in a while, set a Zoom date with someone who makes you laugh, drop cookies off to a friend who is lonely.

9. Learn how to be your own best friend. People who learn to be their own best friend and embrace time alone, are in possession of a great gift. Learn how to embrace aloneness before you find yourself truly alone.

10. Stretch your mind. Learning something new can be challenging. However, when we embrace that challenge, we usually come away feeling renewed and fulfilled. 

There is practically no limit to the possibilities for joy when we look for them. When you are in a state of joy, say thank you as you acknowledge your joyful feelings. This will attract more joy to your life.

What Keeps You Motivated/Or Not?

by Mershon Niesner

Objects in motion stay in motion. Isaac Newton, physicist, mathematician

Motivation frequently feels elusive. We’re motivated one day, the next day not so much. If you’re in a down cycle, here are a few tips to help you get motivated.

— Look inside. Consider what motivated you in the past, what brings you joy, what speaks to your values.

—Start with the details. Be specific about what you want to achieve. Set concrete, measurable goals. Read a book a week, walk a mile a day, plan and cook four nutritious meals a week, clean out three cupboards. 

—Just do it! Get up and move. Do something to change your energy. When I sit too long and become lethargic, I get up and do a 20 minute yoga video or put together a chicken salad. 

—Take small steps. Focus on first things first. If I considered all the steps it takes to publish a book, I’d never start. Instead, I start by writing a sentence which turns into a paragraph which turns into a chapter. Don’t overwhelm yourself.

—Search for flow. Once you find something that makes your heart sing, something that causes you to lose track of time, and you’re “in the flow,”  motivation will cease to be a problem.

—Focus on what matters. When we make an effort to expand ourselves whether it’s through cooking a new recipe, reading an interesting book, nurturing a garden or a child, we find ourselves in a state of growth. 

When you’re growing, learning, expanding, you’ll not only be motivated, you’ll be fulfilled.

Coaching questions: What do you do to get or stay motivated? Consider what de-motivates you.

Photo by Peter Aroner on Unsplash

Getting Back On Track

by Mershon Niesner

A goal without a plan is just a wish.

I don’t know about you, but I need to get back on track with the goals I set for 2024. I’m going to try Daniel’s method to help me.

Daniel Sjöstedt, a mental trainer who runs the popular Swedish podcast Monkey Mindset, describes The 3-3-3 Method. It works like this: 

  • Every quarter, you set three goals that you want to achieve in the three months ahead.
  • Each week, you define the three objectives that will have the most impact on your quarterly goals.
  • Every day, you choose the three tasks that will help you make the most progress toward your weekly objectives.

Daniel may be referring to business objectives but I think the concept will work well for any type of goals including those that are health related.

Affirmation: I have the power to do what I set my mind to.

Coaching question: What do you need to do to get back on track?

Photo by bruce mars on Unsplash

Will You Embrace Discipline to Achieve Your Goals for 2023?

by Mershon Niesner

Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment. Jim Rohn, American entrepreneur

One of my accomplishments in 2022 was meeting my goal of publishing a second book, a historical fiction inspired by the life of my great grandparents who were Nebraska pioneers. 

I wrote the first draft during Covid isolation, spending many enjoyable afternoons on the Nebraska prairie in 1875. Not much discipline needed at this stage and virtually no distractions. Because of Covid, I had to delay my trip to the Sand Hills, the location of most of the book, until the summer of 2021. Spending time in the space was wonderful inspiration (I even stood in a real sod house). 

The real discipline began with the rewrite. This is where the rubber meets the road and an author has to doggedly go back line after line, chapter after chapter and bring the manuscript to life. Then there’s the phase where I had to make sure there were no spelling or grammatical errors. Every book is a labor of love backed by discipline.

Affirmation: I will embrace the discipline in order to achieve my goals.

Coaching questions: What are your goals for 2023? What would you like to accomplish by the end of next year? What discipline will it take to achieve your goal? Is it worth it?

Photo taken by the author in the approximate location of the novel.

What’s Your Purpose?

by Mershon Niesner

There continues to be a growing body of research to support the impact of purpose on mental and physical health and how it can lead to longer life expectancy. Blue Zones newsletter

Dr. Robert Butler, the first director of the National Institute on Aging, estimated that an ability to define your life meaning adds to your life expectancy. His study found that individuals who had something to get up for in the morning that made a difference to them, lived longer and were sharper than those who did not.

My friend and I recently discussed this issue and drew the same conclusion. We also concluded that, as we age, we frequently need to overcome challenges, either mental or physical, to do that which brings meaning to our life. Sometimes our goals have to change with our abilities. Quilting might take the place of rigorous gardening for instance. As I consider this issue, I’m reminded of Helen Keller and Stephen Hawking. Physical disability need never be a factor as we define and carry out a meaningful life purpose.

Affirmation: I have purpose in my life.

Coaching questions: How do you define your purpose? What gets you up everyday (especially if you’re retired)? If you feel lost, how will you discover renewed purpose in your life? 

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Photo by BBH Singapore on Unsplash

Take One Step At a Time

by Mershon Niesner

Break every objective into its smallest pieces and take action with just one of them, even if it is the smallest one and seems insignificant. Bahram Akradi, CEO of Life Time

If you recently set a goal to run a marathon, 26.2 miles can be daunting. Break it down and think of 29,000 strides, taken one step at a time, and it may feel doable. Writing a book is challenging until you consider one word, one sentence at a time. Losing weight starts with saying “no” to one dessert or one dinner roll. Last year, when I reached only a handful of people with this blog, I never dreamed it would be read by people from 52 countries within a year. It happened a day at a time, a post at a time. 

When we break our goals into smaller pieces and begin to take action, we can achieve our objectives. We can even play a role in turning around daunting, world-wide events like climate change by simple, everyday actions like eating more plants and less meat or buying locally. 

Affirmation: I can reach my goals and make a difference one step at a time.

Coaching questions: Where do you want to make a change in your personal life and/or in the life of the Earth? What’s one step you will take to make this happen? On a scale of 1-10, how strong is your commitment? 

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Photo by Bewakoof.com Official on Unsplash

Get Off The Roller Coaster

by Mershon Niesner

Success isn’t magic; it’s generally the product of picking a good system and following it until luck finds you. Scott Adams, author of How To Fail At Almost Everything and Still Win Big

Tis the season of resolutions and goal setting. I’m a Life Coach and I’m supposed to be all about goals, right? For 2019, I’m changing my tune and suggesting success (whether business or personal) is about systems, exercised with such consistency they turn into habits.

Want to lose weight? Rather than setting a weight loss goal, create a system of eating and exercise. “I will exercise thirty minutes, four days a week and lower my carb intake to two a day.” Want to attract more clients? “I will make three cold calls a day.” Want to have more peace in your life? “I will sit quietly ten minutes a day.” You get the picture. Wondering how systems are different from goals? They sound suspiciously similar. Goals can be attained, which is a good thing (I’m not suggesting you eliminate goals), but then what? We lose those ten pounds, goal accomplished, and we resume our old habits. Once a system becomes a habit, there is no end. The behavior continues, you stay healthy and successful and you get off the roller coaster of annual goal-setting/achievement/failure.  

Affirmation: I create systems designed for success.

Coaching questions: What systems do you need to put in place? What’s standing in your way of doing this? How will your life be different if you create positive systems for success? 

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