Blog

The Power of Flowers

by Mershon Niesner

Stretching his hand up to reach the stars, too often man forgets the flowers at his feet. Jeremy Bentham, English philosopher, jurist, and social reformer (1748-1832)

I’m truly enjoying first-time novelist, Vanessa Diffenbaugh’s, book, The Language of Flowers. This coming of age story is of a girl growing up in the foster care system and what happens to her as she “ages out.”  For me, much of the story’s beauty also lies in what she discovers to be the Victorian tradition of using flowers to communicate feelings and how this shapes her life.

The idea that each flower has a profound meaning–or several–fascinates me and enhances my lifelong love of flowers. I’ve always believed that purchasing flowers at the grocery store is as important to your health and well-being as buying broccoli.

Affirmation: I embrace the power, meaning, and loveliness of flowers.

Coaching questions: What do flowers mean to you? Consider what it would mean to accept the idea that flowers adorning your table are as important to your well-being as broccoli on your plate.

IMG_1842.jpgA hibiscus from my Marco Island, FL yard. The giver of this flower acknowledges the receiver’s delicate beauty. It also means perfect wife or woman.

Little Things Count

by Mershon Niesner

I think little things are more powerful because they’re more honest, so people feel them more strongly. Elizabeth Peyton, American painter

My daughter, Katie, makes lots of little things out of felt, selling some in a retail store but mostly at Tuscanycreative on Amazon and Tuscanycreative.etsy.com This morning she received an email from a customer who bought a set of small, felt animals from her (see below) a few months ago. Katie’s client gave the lion and tiger to her friend who was dying of cancer to remind her to fight. Her friend took them with her to the hospital each time she went. Before she friend died on June 14th, she requested to be cremated with her lion and tiger because they meant so much to her. Katie’s customer is now ordering two more sets, one for her friend’s sad mother and one for herself.

Little things count! Don’t discount the little gifts, cards, affirming comments or other small things you do for others–they may mean much more than you can imagine.

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Katie’s  Jungle Animal Stuffs Toys

Affirmation: I honor the little, thoughtful things people do for me.

Coaching questions: What is a small gesture or gift you received recently that meant something special to you? What small thing have you recently done for a friend or relative? What do these little things mean to you?

Embrace The Lemon

by Mershon Niesner

No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new Heaven to the human spirit. Helen Keller 

Is your glass half full or half empty? How do you respond to a horrible, awful, terrible day? What do you do with the sour lemons of your life—those events that aren’t fair, the personal failures, untimely deaths, when you see the scale suddenly going in the wrong direction? 

Learning how to make lemonade out of the lemons that inevitably show up in your life is the secret to joyful living. It doesn’t mean that you’ll be happy everyday, sipping away on a sugary refreshment, no! It means gradually squeezing out those sour lemons, adding some water and sugar to even out the bitterness, and overtime, creating something you can enjoy and share.

Affirmation: I know how to make lemonade.

Coaching questions: What are the lemons in your life? How do you cope with them? What’s one thing you can do to turn your pessimism into optimism so you too can discover the secret of the stars?

The Yearly Bucket List Oath

by Mershon Niesner

 I solemnly swear to create memories that last a lifetime. I vow to make an impression on the world, not the couch. I promise to dream about unrealistic goals, and make them my reality. Author unknown

I’ve been working through my Bucket List in the last few years and have checked a few off that I never dreamed would come true. Here’s a sample: Visit Paris (twice), swim with the dolphins, ride a dogsled on a glacier (see photo), go to cooking school in France (I went to one in Julia Child’s French home), take a grandchild on a trip (I took Tuscany to NYC), read over 50 books in a year (last year), help a stranger go to college (Rosie), make fresh pasta using no machines (cooking school in Italy), revisit childhood memories in Dubois, Wyoming. Writing a book wasn’t on my bucket list but it is an unrealistic goal that I plan to make into reality.

What’s on your bucket list? Deciding what you want, writing it down, sending it out into the Universe makes a difference. Trust me.

Affirmation: I believe in dreams.

Coaching questions: If you don’t have a Bucket List, what’s keeping you from making one? Write down at least three things you dream of doing. If you do have a list, add three things to it.

IMG_2629Dogsledding on Alaskan glacier.

So Happy To Have “Fraughters”

by Mershon Niesner

A daughter is just a little girl who grows up to be your best friend. Anonymous

I am blessed with two daughters and a son who I have had the privilege to see grow up. (I’m also delighted to have two step-daughters and a step-son but they came into my life fully grown.) As the first generation in three to have the opportunity to see my children into adulthood, I particularly treasure the time I have with my adult children. My mother and her mother didn’t live through their thirties so I’m relieved that my daughters are both in their forties. What a joy it is to have adult daughters who become “fraughters” — friends/daughters.

One of the take-aways of a daughter, like myself, who has experienced early mother loss, is the appreciation of being able to spend time with grown daughters.

Affirmation: I find joy in my grown children.

Coaching questions: If you have young children, what helps you overcome any anxiety about leaving them too soon? If your children are grown, how can you show gratitude that you made it this far in their lives?

IMG_0004My middle child, Katie, and I at my step-granddaughter’s wedding last night.

I Just Don’t Know What To Say

by Mershon Niesner

Who we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us. Helen Keller, American author, political activist, first deaf-blind person to earn a bachelor of arts degree

Helen Keller has the right idea when it comes to words of sympathy. Offering supporting words to friends who are in emotional pain due to the critical illness or death of a loved one can be fraught with peril. Saying things like, “she’s in a better place” or “everything happens for a reason” or “I know just how you feel,” can be hurtful to many. Telling your own Super Griever story is not helpful either. Sharing a memory of the loved one, showing concern for the caregiver/grieving person herself, or saying nothing at all but being present is good too.

Don’t let “not knowing what to say” keep you from being a comforting person in your friend’s life. Send a card or a text, show up with tacos, offer to take the dog for a walk or their kids to a movie. Don’t be afraid to say, “I just don’t know what to say.” Trust me, she’ll get your message.

Affirmation: I care about my friends.

Coaching questions: When you have experienced a loss, what was helpful and comforting to you? Give some thought right now about how you might respond to a grieving or completely overwhelmed friend. Your words and actions will be ready when you need them in the moment.

What I Learned At Legoland

by Mershon Niesner

What’s really cool about LEGOs is that you can put a bunch of bricks on the table, and everybody will make something different. Everyone has different ideas, and some of them may seem crazy. Christopher Miller, Writer of The Lego Movie

This week I took two grandchildren, August, 10, and Marcella, 5, to our local Legoland. It was a fun morning of observing amazing cities, animals, Star Wars characters and more all made from tiny, plastic Legos bricks. In addition, there was a Lego movie, a couple of rides and lots of opportunities to build with Legos. So, what did I learn in this haven for kiddies?

  1. Amazing creative things can be made from tiny pieces of plastic. 
  2. Kids who are compete strangers can find joy in building a Duplo wall together.
  3. Very happy, creative adults with engineering and IT skills galore can get paid for conceptualizing and building super cool things out of Legos
  4. You have to know a bit about building with Legos to create a workable car with wheels (this grandma was woefully unqualified) but I learned you get extra credit for riding on a kiddie ride.
  5. Well raised kids express gratitude.
  6. I day of fun ages a person backwards.

Affirmation: I know how to have fun.

Coaching questions: What do you do for fun? What brings out the kid in you? What does being child-like do for you?

Birthdays

by Mershon Niesner

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? Satchel Paige, legendary baseball pitcher

On July 11th, 1945, less than two months before the end of WWII, in a small, questionably clean hospital delivery room in Ardmore, Oklahoma, I was born. The doctor was out fishing at the time, but managed to appear shortly before my 10:10 am birth. My dad was a Captain in the US Air Force and had asked his commander to postpone his immediate transfer to McDill Air Force Base in Florida in order to be nearby for at least the first several days after by birth. 

My parents, Leon and Winnie, had enjoyed some years of alone-couple-time prior to my arrival so the timing was right but who would have guessed that a little less than nine years later, our family would have shrunk to just my dad and me with a 34-year-old wife and mother dead before her time. No one knows what life will bring. I learned very early that death is real and our time on this earth can be cut short at any minute. That knowledge has caused me to strive to live life to the fullest and appreciate every moment.

Affirmation: I am joyfully and fully alive.

Coaching questions: What have you learned from the traumas of your life? What difference has that understanding made?

Finding Peace

by Mershon Niesner

When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.  Jimi Hendrix (1942-1970), American rock guitarist, singer, and songwriter.

It feels as though our nation and our world are in unprecedented turmoil. The power of love is definitely not overcoming the love of power as Hendrix was suggesting. As much as I believe in being an informed advocate for what we believe, taking a breather from it all is valuable as well.

Take a moment and consider the swan. Her life may not be as peaceful as this photo from my local park portrays, but the image gives us a focal point on which to rest our minds and our hearts. Now, if only for a few seconds, take a deep breath and just BE.

Affirmation: I am at peace.

Coaching questions: What helps you keep peace within yourself? If you feel harried, what is one thing can you do to feel more peaceful?

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